Struggling with my toddler
He’s 3 years old and so intelligent but over the last couple of months he’s tuned into a child I don’t recognise. When he gets angry he looses his mind. Today he smacked me in the face whilst I was sleeping then screamed bloody murder to wake everyone in the house at 4am because he wanted to go downstairs.
This behaviour is so out of character but I cannot handle the screaming anymore it’s so bad my Apple Watch constantly warns me of the ‘loud environment’ we have at least 1-2 meltdowns daily now.
After he’s been violent he hugs and apologies then does the same thing again he snatches screams kicks pushes but the screaming is so bad I’m surprised neighbours haven’t called the police yet.
To clarify I am not a gentle parent and we are strict and do not or have not ever tolerated this type of behaviour. I’ve tried claiming speaking, raising voices, timeouts, hugs you name it. I’m on the verge of calling a doctor as I’m becoming genuinely concerned that there is something seriously wrong.
He doesn’t witness any type of violence. My dad was a nasty violent man but he hasn’t been in our lives since I was a baby so he hasn’t even met him but he had serious anger issues now I’m sitting here thinking could this be a mental health issue
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Try feelings cards at bedtime to understand what he's feeling. I found that it was more terrible 3's than terrible 2's so it may just be a phase. I've also seen a phrase "We can be mad but we can't be mean" which would be good when he is hitting etc. My 5 year old used to have some crazy tantrums when he was 3, not necessarily everyday though and tended to be when he didn't get what he wanted. Are things better when you've had an active day, is he getting enough sleep? There's a Gro clock that you can get that tells him when it is reasonable to get up and come into your room. He could play quietly with his toys if its too early. Star charts worked really well for me at this age too. Also put aside 10 minutes for one to one connection time using eye contact, touch, and interest in what they are thinking/feeling. If this doesn't work, trust your instincts and get some professional help. Maybe he senses your stress so might be good to have a night off so you can feel refreshed when you tackle it ❤️
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