Why do I feel like I don't deserve my baby to want me?

I just had my second baby 3 weeks ago. Sometimes when she's crying, my husband will try feeding her, rocking her to sleep, changing her and nothing settles her. As soon as he gives her to me and I cuddle her she will calm down or even fall asleep.

My first baby did this too and I know this is common and normal for babies to want their mothers and to sense when they're in their mothers arms/feel her skin, smell, heartbeat etc as it's so familiar to them from being in the womb. When my first baby wanted me I didn't feel like this. But now with my second baby I feel like I don't understand why she wants me? Even though I understand the reason, it's like I can't understand why she'd want me because I'm not a good mum? Like how can she possibly just want me for comfort and nothing more? I'm not special and I'm not doing a good job. Everything is getting on top of me and I'm really struggling parenting 2 children. I feel like a total failure some days.

in our community

Do you breastfeed you baby to sleep and co-sleeping?

I have to breastfeed my 9 months old baby to sleep for naps and nighttime, and I usually sleep with her on the bed. She slept well in the cot from 0 to 6 months. After i fed her, she normally felt asleep immediately and i put her in the cot, no issue and she slept throughthe night, but when she was at 7 months, after feeding I transferred her into the cot, she woke up every 10-15 minutes and cried out loud multiple times. It was exhausted, so I tried sleeping with her, and it worked. Now that I have to go back to work soon and send her to day care, I'm a bit worried i won't be able to do that. She also doesn't take bottles no matter what kind of milk. If you have any tips or advice, please let me know 🙏

8 week vaccines

Anyone else feel like they have a different baby after 8 week jabs? He had a temp and was fine the following day but since then we have had a week of him looking grumpy and screaming crying because he’s fighting sleep during the day. But sleeps fine at night 🙈 wondering it’s it’s just a phase or related to his jabs.

AITA

Should I be mad that my husband sleeps all day long…? He works 4pm-12am but doesn’t go to bed till around 2:30am… then he sleeps until 2-3pm… he misses almost all of the day with his 2 year old child and I’m currently pregnant with baby #2… idk if it’s pregnancy hormones but it just makes me so irritated and depressed because he literally misses out on everything…

Biting!

Anyone got any tips on discouraging a 9 month old from biting? 'No' and ignoring the behaviour aren't quite working 🤦🏻‍♀️I know they don't understand the difference between good and bad attention at this age, so it's really hard 🤦🏻‍♀️

Advice about how to wean my boy off his night feed

My LO is 7 months and sometimes sleeps through the night and sometimes wakes for milk once a night. Most times he wakes up anywhere between 11pm-1am for a feed and sometimes he wakes u0 around 4am for a feed. We decided to stop dream feeding a few months back because we didn't want to reinforce night feeds. Since he's clearly able to sleep through the night occasionally I don't feel like he needs the feed it's maybe more habitual. Also I think it depends on how well he's eaten solids that day that might play a part on his sleep because I've tried filling him up on milk during the day but that doesn't make a difference. He can even sleep through the night on less than his usual intake sometimes. Any tips on how to wean him off without it becoming a big battle or do I just leave him and let him lead because I'm worried he won't stop by himself?

14wk screams every time I put him down

PLEASE give me advice or tell me if this is a normal phase. My 14 week old is struggling to transition from one sleep cycle to the next during naps and will always wake up at 30 mins unless he’s being held.

If I even ✨attempt✨ to put him down, no matter how smooth (trust me I’ve tried all the tricks) he instantly opens his eyes and screams. He’s then so difficult to soothe back to sleep and gets himself so worked up.

I’ve tried letting him get into a deeper sleep being held, I’ve tried drowsy but awake. Hand on stomach, rocking the crib, white noise, brown noise, fan noise.

He also shows no signs of tiredness before an absolute meltdown. I keep an eye on wake windows but sometimes it’s nowhere near the huckleberry app “sweet spot” and he will just become hysterical.

Once I give up after 45 mins, he will smile and go back to his happy self, so I doubt he’s in pain. It just seems like absolute refusal to sleep😶

He’s exclusively BF atm because he really fusses with bottles and he’s waking me every 2 hours at night so I am exhausted 😭😭

Please help 🫶