Boundaries
What do you do if you have boundaries and your partner has none at all?
I have lots of boundaries/rules with our baby- and with myself postpartum but my husband disagrees with all of them. I’ve tried to be reasonable and meet him half way but he refuses to. And so I feel helpless. For example, if I say no to anybody kissing our baby- but my husband says yes people feel free to do so. And I can’t stop this. We live with his parents so it’s been a nightmare. I can set a boundary with them but then he will say he doesn’t mind so they follow what he wants.
He’ll say as it’s his daughter too he doesn’t need to follow any rules. He can let who he wants hold her, kiss her, leave her with unsupervised etc even if it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t know what to do. I’ve started working part time again so boundaries are more important than ever as I’m not with her 24/7 anymore.
My FIL is particularly disrespectful of my wishes. He changes my baby’s meals even because he doesn’t believe she is getting the right nutrients! ( I have her in a specific plan because of her chronic constipation). And is always invading my privacy. I’m not comfortable with him at all. He touches my daughter with his dirty hands all the time and if I tell him not too, he says his son says it’s fine. Or if I don’t want them holding her, they’ll say their son has given them permission so they will etc it has been a thousand things. I’m wfh but supposed to be returning part time in office but know I don’t have the trust to do so.
Do I have no say? I feel so trapped. My husband has stated repeatedly he doesn’t care about my feelings on it and his parents should be able to do whatever they want with their grandchild. Honestly, I want to leave him but cannot imagine co parenting with him (and his parents) it would be torturous.
2 under Two!! 😳
My April baby just turned one last month, and I just found out I’m pregnant 🤪 It was also right after I decided my relationship wasn’t healthy anymore, well it never really was, but silly me kept hanging on to hope or that he’d “get it” at some point, but I’m so shut down and can’t talk to him about anything without it turning into multiple hours of lecturing, bringing up everything he’s ever been hurt by and throwing jabs at my character. So now I have to decide to either keep the relationship going for the logistical help, while keeping communication limited, or if I should still end it for my mental health and be pregnant with a 1 year old alone. I have no idea how I’ll handle this crazy toddler energy along with a new born by myself! He’s not the worst, I’m just not happy and feel like I can’t be myself or at peace when he’s around. He has several kids with other women (should have been my immediate NO to having kids with him 🙄) but I know if I end the relationship he’ll basically disappear from our kids life too. Ugh 😭
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