Should I stay or leave? Give me some advices!
I just have a 4-month-old baby, and my husband keeps telling me how tired he is and taking his stress out on me. And most of the time, I take care of both kids on my own, even during my postpartum period. It has been really exhausting, and sometimes I feel like I’m carrying everything by myself .Sometimes I just want to enjoy a nice date together, but he still becomes aggressive and yells at my older son over small things.
He always apologizes afterward, but the same behavior keeps happening. Part of me wants to stay for my sons, but another part of me is wondering whether this is really a healthy environment for them to grow up in
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I vote leave if you have the capacity to do so, l wish it was an option available to everyone in an unhealthy environment
Have a serious talk with him first and give him grace while he tries to work on it, the same way you would want him to do for you. Some periods in your lives are going to be harder than others, this is where your children can see conflict resolution exhibited in front of them. Everyone goes off about how its better for your kids to see you happy apart than miserable together, but the actual best option is that they see you work through tough times together. And sometimes that takes a while and there are setbacks and days that are harder than others. But children whos parents are split up do struggle more in their relationships as they get older. Obviously in cases of abuse are different, but its our responsibility as parents to do the hard things to give our kids the best shot. If your significant other isnt a scumbag, then you going to him saying youre considering leaving to protect the children from his anger should be enough of a kick in the a$$ to get him adjusting.
(Ran out of space) but i know its hard not to compare, but it doesnt help. Just because youre tired and overwhelmed and feel like youre doing a ton, doesnt mean that he doesnt feel the same about his work load. You can both be overwhelmed at the same time over your respective tasks and work and childcare. Neither of you see all of the work the other does.
Stay, work on it.
The grass isn't greener on the other side it's greener where you water it.
That will take work and patience.
As long as no abuse and he is generally a decent person.
There are some really good resources online to look at to see if you think his behaviour is matching up with abusive behaviour. Power and control wheel is a good starting point. You may (both) be in a difficult patch in the early months of a new baby which you could come out of. But it may be more than that where you and the kids are actually not safe. Take care.
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