I love being a mum. I guess what I'm struggling with is being on 24/7.
I waited so long to have my first child by choice. But I find myself looking forward to him having his naps and his bedtime as its the only time I really get to myself and even when he naps it isn't really all that because sometimes they are short. My husband is great with him and actively involved but won't always use his initiative to take him out on his days off unless I suggest it which I don't always want to. He's 8 months and I've been out twice with friends without him since he's been born. I've been feeling so guilty about feeling like this lately. In the same breath he slept for 2.5 hours today which he rarely does after having a shorter nap and I really enjoyed being able to sit down and do nothing and watch shows because I don't have the TV on during the day.
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There is nothing wrong with wanting time to yourself. There are two of you bringing him up. Maybe write down some ideas with your husband of things he can do with you little one (just the two of them) and then say if he has two days off a week they can have father and son time on one of the days while you get to have a bit of R&R or meet up for lunch with the girls! 🥰
Don't feel guilty! We give everything to our babies during their wake windows, it's so normal to look forward to a bit of me time when they're sleeping, and it does them no harm at all! If anything, it recharges us and keeps up sane so we can do it all again when they wake 😂
Get what you mean about the husbands not necessarily taking the initiative, I've had to start asking more otherwise resentment creeps in.
But it sounds like you're doing a cracking job and the fact you feel guilty means you care but honestly be kind to yourself! Just because you're a mum doesn't mean you can't have a single second for you.
First off all these feelings are completely valid.
You're still human and you had a life before children and you shouldn't have to lose that when you have a family. Have you tried telling your husband that you're struggling and need more of your own time/space? You need to be able to recharge so you can carry on being the best mumma!
Agree with all the other comments. I love my children so much but I love them even more when I get time to myself. Where should we pour from if we have nothing inside of ourselves? We need to replenish our own love for ourselves so that we have something to give to them, it's only natural and fair. I am actually expecting my third baby now in one month and will have a newborn, a 2 year old and a 3 year old and I find myself needing even much more time to myself than nap times and the evenings when they sleep. They go to childcare even when I don't work and my husband leaves me happy to go out once to twice in the evenings all by myself for creative workshops, workouts or meeting with friends. Otherwise I will be just completely burnt out and no one will have anything good out of it. That being said, I still feel guilty often but this is just what it is to be a mom I guess
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