2nd baby panic
My little girl will be 3 in a few months and I’m starting to worry about having a 2nd child. I’m definitely not ‘done’ and always wanted more than 1 (god willing) and I’m starting to worry about the when!
I’m 31… keep putting time limits on myself like after this occasion after that occasion but I’m sooo not ready yet!!
She’s in terrible 2s - she’s good but she rules the roost!! My hubby is good with her but could do more to be fair, and he is struggling with this age a lot and I’m feeling stretched already as I have a demanding job and taking a step back from that is not an option and I have to do the majority of things
I adore my child and really enjoy her being the centre of my universe and while id love her to have a sibling but the thought of pregnancy, newborn etc and sharing my time seems impossible!! I’m actually finding it harder to decide on the 2nd than I did on the 1st!!!
I feel like I’m being selfish putting events before having a 2nd baby and don’t want to regret having an age gap of 4+ years
We also want to get married and don’t know when I’ll fit that in!! Sorry for whining this is a very first word problem
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
It's a very hard decision in my opinion. And for me, there's a lot of pressure from society for a second child, and of course, it's nice to have siblings. But the impact is always on the woman; our careers are on standby, our bodies, everything. Even if the father is present, we "suffer" the most. I think mentally you know that, and it makes you want to prioritize events because you want to enjoy yourself, and you know it won't be the same with two kids to look after.
If you both definitely know you want another but you just don't know when, stop using contraception and just leave it to chance. You're never 100% ready and you never will be.. also you might finally decide the time is right and then not conceive for a while.
It took us a bit over 4 years to decide to have a second baby, my youngest is now 8 weeks and we have a 5 year age gap and I love it. He's out of the toddler stage and understands so much more, there hasn't been any jealousy and he loves his baby brother so much and likes to actually help with him. I think you never quite feel fully ready but I found that I stopped feeling like I wasn't ready so we went for it and I'm so glad we did.
We also want to get married but I want both of my kids at my wedding so we have waited and will look at doing that in the next few years. Although now baby number 2 is here I'm already debating a 3rd even though we always said 2, I'm just loving having a baby again even though I struggled so much with my first (shock to the system generally and had PPD)
I would say don't put too much pressure on yourself to decide in advance when and do it when it feels right (or at least when it doesn't feel wrong or too soon)
Download the Peanut App
