How do I tell people?
My boyfriend and I got into a huge fight and broke up. I asked to live with him still while I found a place, which I did. That month and half, while I searched, we fought constantly, over every single thing there is to fight about. Then I moved out last week, and the first two days he told me how nice it felt to have his place back to himself, how he was ready to go back to the “single life” and whatever. Then day three hit, and I got the “I miss you” text, and then as the week progressed, we’ve had a few conversations where he basically said he took my granted, that he thought his life had changed because of me and the kids, but he realizes now it just took his natural course of getting old, and there is no “old him” to go back to. He says the house feels empty and he wants us back. He says he used to complain about how loud the kids were in the morning, but now he sits in silence and misses their voices coming down the hall. He misses my footsteps stomping around, which he used to complain about, and basically just realized he got caught up in the situation and didn’t realize what he had. He wants to get back together and be a family again, and I want to give him another chance. I’m just scared of what my friends and family will say, because I know they will have some choice words since our break up was so ugly.
He came over today though, and my mom was coming to drop off the kids so I made him leave. I don’t want anyone to know rn until I feel certain we can work out our problems. This really hurt his feelings though, and he said he feels like I’m ashamed of him. He said it also bothers him I have my mom watching the kids while I work, and that used to be his job. I pointed out he complained about that too, and that I just gave him everything he asked for. It’s not my fault what he thought he wanted isn’t what he actually wants. I told him he needs to earn his place back, and he says he’s trying, which he has been. But one week of efforts and change doesn’t magically fix two months of problems, and we need time.
Anyways, he wants me to tell the family we’re back together and I don’t want to look like a clown if it doesn’t work again. Any advice?
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Girl no do not get back together with him …. What did you guys used to fight about like why was the break up so ugly ???? Please don’t get back with him you have established being without him don’t go back
My best advice is your family will honestly get over it. I am speaking from experience. Me and my partner have had the most ugly and physical altercations one can have. Regardless of what our families thought we decided to stay together. If y’all love one another and really want to give it another go, y’all most definitely can especially considering y’all have kids so he would have been around anyways.
Do not get back with him. It is way too soon to know if it’s sincere. A lot of men don’t miss their exes as much as they miss what you provide for them. He needs to show consistent changes for a lot longer than a week. So no don’t tell your family and honestly I think it is a red flag if he is pushing you to tell your family you are back together cuz he should respect your timeline.
I had a similiar issue happen. And when I went back my mum would make comments about it and I basically told her to get over it. My ex bestfriend continued to bitch and moan about it so I cut her off.
End of the day it’s YOUR life and YOUR family. No other single person on earth is you. Do what is best for you and your family and forget about opinions or judgement. They’re none of your business.
You don’t have to explain or justify it to anyone. Be firm & believe in your decision.
I wouldn’t say anything until you know it’s really going to work. Truthfully when you open up to family about this stuff you leave it open to judgment and people will project onto you too. Take the time apart and see if it’s even worth it. Your ex meant what he said about the single life and now wants to backtrack so if it happens again, he knows you’re going to come back anyways. If you want to work it out then I would leave people out of it
Also he should respect your timeline on telling people you’re back together. You need to be confident in his actions. Tell him firmly.
I’d also be curious to know why the big turn on day 3? Did he do something with someone else and freak out because it wasn’t you?
I've dealt with worse we ended up married 🙃 forget what everyone else says, I got tired of the mess we just has a small ceremony in our living room felt good to do something we wanted to do without judgement or reminders of how this and that....Do whats best for you and those kids
I know this is not what you ask but please dont get back with him, why he had to leave to notice how important are his kids and partner??? Idk how old are your kids but im pretty sure they know, when I was i kid, I use to hate to see my parents together bc I knew they would fight sooner or later, it was an ugly childhood, i was waaaay happier after they divorced, please dont let your kids down, have some respect for them, they deserve the best and dad doesn't sound like he deserves them.
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