Anyone relate?
I’m currently sitting in my car outside the pub where my husband is inside drinking with friends. Our older son is playing. But I’m by myself with the sleeping baby.
I feel so alone. Is this all I am now? A mum. I don’t get to have a social life. My needs are put on the back burner. I have to put the baby and 7yo first? I understand that I do have to put them first a lot of the time. But 100% of the time? I don’t know who I am anymore. My husband still gets to go to work and socialise. Still goes and has fun. I get up with the baby. Make lunches. Feed the baby. Change the baby. Do the washing. Vacuum the house. Clean the bottles. Make dinner. Rinse and repeat.
I try to do some craft but I can’t even settle on which one I want to do.
Just having a moment. Need to get it out.
Thanks.
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Ask him for help. Ask him to give you an hour a day of me time to do whatever you want to do
This is heartbreaking. 💔 I’m so sorry, girl. What you’re describing sounds like a fundamentally broken support system, and that’s a heavy burden to carry every day.
I recently read something that stuck with me: sometimes we need to stop being endlessly useful to see where people’s appreciation and effort actually lie. I’m not saying stop putting your babies first, but maybe step back for a little while. Let some of the things you normally handle become visible by their absence.
When you come back, instead of focusing on what wasn’t done, ask him something like, “Were there any things you noticed would be faster aka easier with two people?” That can help him recognize all the invisible labor he could be making faster for you on the daily so you have free time as well. Free time should be about equal.
For example, maybe he realizes how much time it takes to keep up with laundry, pack bags, schedule appointments, clean up after meals, keep track of supplies, or simply
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