Seriously need help. Daughter is 2.5 and im ashamed to say but she wakes up 2 times in the night for milk!!!!

I have tried giving water, I say no or have even reduced to wean her and she cannot switch off!!! She will stay tossing and turning in turn ruining my sleep. Ive had a shit sleep since ive ever had my first and now this one does this every night im at the end of my tether now. In the day shes active, eats ok, plays and doesnt have a nap because I want her to sleep in the night. Ive even tried giving nap in the day to see if its over tiredness but no. She will wake up 2 times or 1 sometimes if Im lucky and wants milk. How the hell do I get out of this loop! Im sooo exhausted and I dont even get to be with my hubby either cos im always here. Its 4.22am right now i tended to her at 2.30 she screamed place down for milk so I am so exhausted I give in. N she demands to be in my lap. Shes trying to switch off right now as I type this. Deep down im so pissed off. I do the 24 7 care for her. Sometimes they go to mums for 2 or 3 hours which gives me a chance to speed up on my jobs. Ive been sooo exhausted cleaning deep deckuttering the house and lots of other jobs my brain is maxed out. Hubby does not help in these areas cos hes always at work non stop and to be honest hes shit at it even if he did help. Or would say why am I doing x y z and then later realise why! I am tired of explaining myself. Sorry rant xx

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So tbh I’d go cold turkey with this and bit of tough love. I’d explain clearly during the day that she can have milk before bed and when she wakes up, but if she is thirsty during the night then she can have water. And then stick to it 100%. You’ll have a few rough nights but she’ll understand quickly you’re not giving in. She knows you’re gonna give it to her, so she keeps waking.
On the other hand, my toddler has nights he wakes up and needs a cuddle - has a nightmare, is cold, separation anxiety. It’s normal for them to wake up at times.

That is very frustrating.

First, 🫂

Second, is it the milk she's wanting or you? With the lap demand, it sounds like she needs you.

Is something waking her up? Is it a dream? Something in her room or bed?

One thing I've changed that's helped: don't have the goal be to get yourself back to bed. Have the goal be to have her relax in your arms. Help her find that moment when she sighs and melts. Then have the goal be to drop the bottle as she relaxes. Then move it to getting her snugly in bed. Then be okay to leave her side, then the room.

*it's hard and annoying and exhausting. It is. But I found when I focused on relaxing her (and myself) it was easier for both of us to get back to sleep.

By the time a few days has passed, the routine got shorter. By a week, she woke up, looked around, and went back to sleep on her own. The time may vary, she might wake up here and there, but it was easier mentally on me and physically on her to focus on the calm rather than the bed.

🫂🫂🫂🫂

Just curious: is there a reason to not give her milk? Other than having to get up to get it?

I have no idea how to word it so it doesn't seem...weird, I guess.

Just thinking if she needs/wants it at night maybe leave some for her to have access to so you don't need to get up?

My 22m old wakes trillion times at night and usually only settles with milk for regulation…
You can read books about it and the. Start to offer something else at night. This is how we reduced bf a lot

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