Contact naps

I’ve always done contact naps in the day, then at night I put him in his cot and he would sleep through. The past 4 weeks , since he turned 10 months old, he will only sleep on me in the night and day so I’m not sleeping. He is full of cold and not too well, do you think I’ve done it to myself because I contact nap? How can I change this he just screams when I put him down? Or does it sound like he’s just unwelll?? He’s refusing to go in his cot

I’m struggling so badly with the no sleep it’s causing really bad depression. I need help

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

I think contact naps are amazing for mom and baby in moderation, but dependence on contact napping is not good for mom or baby. I completly understand wanting to give him extra cuddles while he's ill, but when he's firmly on the mend I'd move towards teaching him how to feel secure by himself and how to self soothe to sleep.
This is important not just to help you both get better sleep, but if you plan on using childcare in the future like a daycare or nanny, I'd definitely prioritize supporting independent sleep. I still contact with my baby from time to time, but we both sleep much better now that he has learned how to self soothe confidently.

You deserve to be well rested and mentally healthy. Your baby deserves to be well rested with a mom that's mentally struggling.

At 10 months, I'd build a consistent rest time routine to help him cue that its bed time, whether for the night or for naps. Having a set song or white noise going, dimmed, soft lights, then a bottle and a rock in the chair with a story or 2. Then as baby is starting to get sleepy, sing or hum a gentle song to cue that we are about to get up and go to the crib. Gently transition baby to crib, and when he fusses, which he will at first, continue to sing or hum the song while rubbing his side or hair or back if he's safely rolling over.

Continue to rub until he falls asleep, then gently sneak from the room. He will likely wake up a lot at first, but just go back to humming the song and rubbing wherever feels most comfortable for him. Avoid picking back up if possible to help him learn to self soothe and that the crib is a lovely and safe place with caregivers close by.

The key word with this transition is CONSISTANCY. Its impossible without it.

in our community

Baby sleep

I have posted recently about my baby who just doesn’t like to sleep and having an issue with 4am wake ups. People suggested putting to bed later however nothing is changing. I’m exhausted and don’t know what else to do. Why do I have a baby that just doesn’t sleep

Such a bad sleeper! I Can’t take it anymore

My daughter has never been a great sleeper, but recently it feels especially unpredictable and exhausting. For example, yesterday she woke up at 5:30am but only had a 30minute nap at 10am and then stayed awake until 7:45pm.
I tried offering another chance for a short nap later in the day, but she wasn’t interested. We had a busy family day and she was really happy, so I expected her to be exhausted by bedtime and have a good nights sleep. However she was still up multiple times and was very difficult to settle and took over an hour to go back to sleep. This morning she woke at 4:45am, clearly still tired and irritable, but unable to go back to sleep.
It feels like no matter how active or calm her day is, or how tired she appears, her sleep doesn’t follow a consistent pattern. On the other hand, there are days when she has a two-hour lunchtime nap and a very relaxed schedule, but the outcome is the same. She still wakes multiple times overnight and often takes a long time to resettle.
I’ve tried tracking her sleep to identify patterns, but nothing seems to make sense. I’ve also tried a more flexible “go with the flow” approach, letting her sleep whenever and wherever she needs it, but that hasn’t helped either.
My husband is keen to try for another baby, but I’m hesitant because I can’t imagine managing pregnancy alongside such broken sleep. We do support each other through the nights and take turns where we can, but it still feels very draining.

He’ll things feel worse more than ever

Does anyone else’s husband’s hump them when they are dead asleep?

I know this is a weird question but some nights my husband will be dead to the world asleep but hump me and groan in my ear. And he’s truly asleep cause I can tell the difference, it wakes me up through the night and I’ve woken him up before thinking he was awake and he didn’t realize he was doing it, he’d kiss my forehead and genuinely apologize before going back to sleep and trying to make sure he wasn’t pressed up against me. He feels super guilty about it in the morning and apologizing, truly not realizing he was doing it. But I want to know if this is normal or a sleep disorder😭

Postpartum hair loss

Hey guys! I’m four months postpartum. Does anyone know of a good product or something for postpartum hair loss? I’m also breast feeding. So has to be safe for that.

Is it a woman's duty to have sex with their partner no matter how she feels and to even put her babies 2nd just to please him?

Even if she is post-partum, the default parent, doing everything around the house or maybe not feeling up to it... Should her duty be to have sex? Otherwise he has a "right" to go elsewhere for it or a "right" to treat her unfairly if doesn't? Also should the babies/children come last just to fulfill this "duty"?

Should I be getting up more when baby wriggles and fusses?

Baby and I are co-sleeping, and he has a lot of wind at the minute. So throughout the second half of the night he’s always wriggling, grunting and fussing a lot.

I wake up when he does this and it’s often hard to tell if he’s asleep or not. Last night one time I turned the light on, clocked his eyes were still closed so turned it back off. What I tend to do is just put a hand on his chest. Sometimes he calms back to stillness, sometimes he carries on wriggling but still seems to be asleep.

Last night this was happening for about 3 hours straight and I’m wondering if I should have woken him up, winded him and cuddled him. Was he unhappy for all that time? I think he was asleep for most of it. But I just feel like I was neglecting him with my approach.