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Mamas with depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders

Idk venting

I am so frustrated!
My child’s dad won’t accept my break up and literally in his mind we will be together until one of us passes away. I’m not married, engaged nothing like that, I’m his child’s mother. So with him in his mind thinking that way if I was to find someone else one day my son’s dad would literally beat or take out me and the person. He told me himself.
And tbh, he did the same thing with his ex. She moved on, was with another guy and this dude kicks in the door and beats the guy. Yes he got into trouble and no I wasn’t with him however, I was so dumb and stupid I still went out with him because his family stuck up for him and I didn’t see real true colors right away. 4 months in I end up pregnant.

I moved out last May. I’ve been living my life under his standards. Letting him come over, letting him have my body, buying him food, him trying to take my new stuff I buy for my place, I’m just literally over it.
I have to come with my son to his dad’s house. My son is 4 and his dad hasn’t ever watched him his whole life! He dropped my son at 42 days old my son had a hairline skull fracture. He doesn’t watch him my son is special needs and he has to be watched. Maybe not 24-7 but like there needs to be an adult around actually paying attention.

My son’s dad lives in his grandmas basement. He is currently unemployed saying he has health issues going to doctors appointments and all that. So he refuses to find a job that he can do. He doesn’t clean the basement either. Nothing. There’s so many dishes, the bathroom is a wreck.

But he manipulates me into staying. Using my words against me all sorts of crap man. He’s driving me absolutely insane because he doesn’t provide help and takes from me. I’m a special needs mom who doesn’t even have a job. And really tho I truly don’t have the funds to be giving him. Right now we share 50\50 but my son is always with me because he knows he won’t watch our child.
Idk but I feel stuck, I feel trapped with him because I am scared of him and what he might or could do since he’s threatened me so much I just can’t handle it but what I can’t handle more is losing my son so I just take the abuse that I get for my son.