Husband and help
This week I have been cleaning non stop I love to have my baby in a home where it’s clean especially where she plays etc our living room is always clean bc of ME! My husband works and when he comes home I’m still cleaning, I clean the kitchen and the cat room, I’m taking care of our 10 month old daughter all day while I do this. He comes home I had dinner ready we ate, I’ve changed our baby gave her a bath today and diapers, I cleaned the kitchen while my husband played with our baby, mind you she can be with both of us, I desperately thought “ I wish he would say that he would clean the kitchen, but that didn’t happen mind you I cleaned this kitchen all week after day after day. Sweeping and mopping etc, dinner put away. I hear him picking up the babies toys in the living room that’s it. Stuff still all misplaced on the counters and couch etc. I give my all to clean and he barely does anything to help. I am exhausted. I also work part time, but most days I am up at 7-8 am with our baby taking care of the house and her. I just want help. Or for him to even take over.
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They don’t understand. They never do. The bare minimum needs to be repeated 6 times until it gets processed in their brain and even then you’d have to wait for another hour or so before the task is actually done! 🥲. I hate having to ask my husband to do something. Like come on dude, you have eyes you can see, you have a brain you can think for urself. Use your abilities and just do things without it being highlighted. Lack of common sense INSIDE THE HOUSE is just testing my patience these days😭
You have to be clear with him and explain the mental load you carry. Men don’t get it. They are slow. You have to be explicit. Tell him exactly what you need him to do. I did early in my postpartum journey and I have never felt like the default parent. My husband probably does more than me now.
A few weeks postpartum I told my husband “it would be nice if you asked me “do you want to cook dinner or be with Austin?”” At least that way I had a choice. It was my choice what I wanted to do. Because sometimes I needed a break from our son and sometimes I needed a break from the house.
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