Feel like im drowning

I know it is just a phase and things will get better but I honestly am struggling so much! My baby is 3 months old. I always wanted to be a mum but I have been finding it so much more challenging than I thought it would be. I love my baby so much and when he smiles, I forget how hard things have been but whenever he is crying or I finally get him to sleep and have a moment to think, I can honestly say I am not enjoying motherhood.

Baby is having problems with feeding and I have had to go private to get the support I need as I was not gwtting any help from the NHS. He is bottle fed but has a tongue tie (recently diagnosed). This has caused alot of colic symptoms which have been a real struggle. Going private now is also an unforseen expense which is going to be a challenge to work around but for my baby to feel better, I will make it work.

I dont have family in the country and have very few friends. I have struggled to make mum friends through antenatal classes or baby groups so I feel very alone. Also, everyone around me with babies dont seem to be having the same experience.

I feel so isolated and alone and just dont know if it will get better.

I dont really know why I am posting this.. probably just to get it off my chest.

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My first baby was really difficult, he cried constantly, never slept, always had to be held. I loved him dearly but it was HARD and I couldn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. He’s now almost 3 and I promise you the very best is yet to come! Wait until they begin to get their own personality, begin to hold their arms out for a cuddle, run up to you randomly for a kiss. When they want to hold your hand and your arms are the safest place in the world for them when they’re scared of the dark. When they run down the nursery path after a long day and their face lights up to see you!

It’s so hard now but it won’t always be this way. You will sleep again, you’ll get you time again, the crying will stop and things will feel lighter.

Feel free to message me if you ever want to chat x

My baby just turned three months old last week and I can confidently say that you’re not alone!
I found myself feeling like this a few weeks ago and as much as I love my little boy I just wanted my old life back. I used to dread my little one crying however I found putting a headphone in really helped as it relaxed me and then my baby would relax too as they can feel when your stressed! Also try and take some time for you on an evening when they’re asleep like taking a bath or reading a book etc.

I’m sorry to hear that your not getting the help you need from the NHS but my little boy is EBF and he had a tongue tie which was picked up when he was two weeks old but having it cut changed him as a baby completely and we now don’t have any problems what so ever! If you can get your baby to have his cut then it will take some of those colic symptoms away as he will start to suck better on the bottle without taking too much air in!
Things will get better it just takes time!x

Hey, you’re not alone! From 2 weeks (3 months now) we were in and out of hospital with my baby just screaming inconsolably. We couldn’t even put him down to change his nappy. Eventually after several drs we got a diagnosis of “suspected” CMPA & server reflux, oh and to throw in a tongue tie if he didn’t already have enough.

NHS were awful when it came to tongue tie. They did nothing to support even though i couldn’t breastfeed because of the tongue tie. We paid privately, we have seen a big difference over the month since having it cut. They said his tie was severe.

We tried multiple prescription milks which again ended him up in hospital. The last 4 weeks have been so different since putting him on goats milk. He is also on omeprazole for his reflux. This has definitely helped.

We see smiles and like you’ve said you forget the bad days. Not every day is perfect but it’s better than it was before. I was truly robbed on the first two months. I compared him to every other baby.

Looking forward to weaning as this will help with him reflux. I struggle to get out because of the tantrums and get funny looks. But each day just popping to pick up a vinted parcel is a win ☺️ I cant wait to see who he becomes over the next year, they say time really does fly by too!

in our community

Baby food from family member

I received some Amazon packages from my aunt all items for my 7 month old daughter. She sent jars and pouches of baby food and a can of formula. I love my aunt and all that she has done for me and my daughter. The thing is I make all my daughter’s food from scratch just bc I feel better knowing whats exactly in the food I feed her. And the can of formula she sent is not the brand we use. After having difficulty with breastfeeding, I researched so many brands to make sure I was going to give my daughter a clean nontoxic formula. The brand she sent has been identified with having mercury in it.

I know she sent it all out of love but I don’t want her to keep sending her stuff if we’re not going to use it but I also don’t want to sound ungrateful. Should I say something or no?

I'm really disappointed

My 40th birthday is Tuesday. I told my wife I wanted to go fishing. We did it like 10 years ago and had a great time. My wife spoke with her mama and was told renting a charter was frivolous and too expensive. She told me we would get push back from her parents if we went. I told her to forget about it. Don't worry we won't go. But in my heart, I feel like I was just told I'm not worthy of celebrating. I'm not worth the time or money. My inlaws just went to Tennessee for 8 days to celebrate FILs birthday... and we were going to pay for the trip ($400 for the charter, $150 for the hotel room so we don't have to get up before the sun, and any food we had while there) The inlaws could have either come with or stayed behind and watch little man. But I'm not worth it. Too much celebration for just me. We screw it. It will just be Tuesday. Don't worry. I'm used to being forgotten about. I will live. But let's just see how much I invest into this family.

Would it be weird if I added her on fb ?

So we live in quite a rural area , there’s a crescent at the top of my lane that’s pretty much just full of kids with a park in the middle of the houses. Now we live like half way down the big lane so not as close to the kids as my son would like lol.
There’s an older kid who drives up and down on his bike I want to say about 9-10 who regularly asks if he can come in my garden to play with my son.
He stays for a couple hours at a time sometimes , I’ll ask if him mum knows where he is and he says yes.
He’ll ask for snacks when I’m giving them my toddler and I’m okay giving them in just worried him mum wouldn’t be okay with it or if he has allergies ?
Should I just add her on fb ? But then do I message her ? Is that weird ???
She’s popped up on my people you may know & I know it’s her as she’s a picture of the son in her pfp but she might have no clue who I am and that her sons been here ? Idk I’m definitely overthinking it but help a girly out plz haha

Cultery

My 11mo has gotten to a stage where he wants to feed himself rather than me feeding him, but he can’t get the hang of using cutlery so still uses his hands. At what age do they usually use cutlery? Is there any tips and tricks to get your baby used to cutlery? Or, any recommendations for easy use cutlery? Thank you 😊

Ungrateful husband or frigid wife

I work in a school and I'm off for the 6 weeks so majority of childcare is on me, my husband does shift work and this week he was on a course up city so wasn't getting home until 8/9pm.

So bare in mind he's sat in a nice air conditioned board room with regular breaks and lunch and drinks paid for by the company he comes home and keeps poking at me saying he's not got his leg over In weeks, he's never nasty about but it's everyday its "oh it would be nice to have something else" or just makes some sort of sexual induendo.

My reply to that is I'm tired, Ive entertained our son, fed him his breakfasts, lunches & dinners, taken him to nice places, walked the dog, cleaned up the house each evening and done the bath and bedtime routines...by the time our son is asleep I'm ready for bed myself.

And I've told him! I said I feel like you just overlook everything I do, he normally says sorry and backs off and says he's joking etc...but its everydayyyy 🫠.

Just needed a rant. 🤣👍🏻

Don’t enjoy sitting with my kids

I love my kids, but I feel guilty af when I say I hate sitting with them. They climb on me, toys get dashed across the room. Like overtime I will find any reason to not sit on the sofa with them. I will sit on the floor and play with them but I don’t see it as a relaxing time with my kids. My son threw a toy across the room this morning, split my lip so that went in the bin. Then they’re fighting to sit in my lap. My coffee cup is going cold in the kitchen because I know for a fact if I bring it in it’ll get knocked out my hands.

My daughter’s already been in tears that I ‘don’t care about her’ because I won’t let her sit on me, for reference she’s nearly 6. I don’t understand why she can’t lay next to me and cuddle me that way, why do I have to become a pin cushion for knees and elbows. My partner practically refuses to sit in here cause they do the same to her and she feels like the living room has become the kids room because we can’t sit in here without there being fights on who gets to sit next to who. By the time the evening rolls around we’ve climbed into bed exhausted