Hey everyone; very raw post here but have been looking for somewhere to pour this out to for a while.
My daughter is 25 months old. She was planned, during pregnancy my now husband proposed and everything seemed great. But at 7 months pregnant my husband announced he was pursuing a different cap badge that would dramatically change how much we would see him, even after the initial training for the switch over.
This is where things get tricky because this is a bit multifaceted in that I know my husband has also shown sides to him that arent very nice and have really disappointed me in terms of how he parents (or doesnt) our child BUT the point of this post is that he is away constantly.
He was prepping for the change for the majority of our daughters infancy and my needs always came last.
He then went on the transfer course which took up the better part of a year and really brought the worst out in him.
He now comes and goes with little to no notice and when he’s here he might do DIY but never ever helps with our daughter, i never have time to myself, he expects me to still want to be intimate despite no contact theough the week and it just all seems so one sided.
We’re getting ready to go accompanied so preparing to sell our house to move to be where he’s based but his work schedule means he’ll be away alot even then.
And i hate it.
And i feel like i am floundering.
I LOVE being a mum but i really struggle doijg it with him and i hate what his jn and out is doing for our daughter.
He claims its just a part of military life…that ao many kids and so many wives experience this and “grizz it”. So why am i finding it so hard?!
Help?!
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I don’t have any advice, but just want to say this sounds really tough and sorry you’re going through it 😮💨 I hope it gets better for you
I have two sweet potatoes and two avocados about to go off - my son loves to snack any ideas how I can use them to make into something for him???
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One day a week where you could put your two children in nursery for free or have them at home with you, what would you choose? You are off work, you work the other 4 days and they are in nursery all that time. Children are nursery age so let’s say 4 and 1.
I have Wednesdays off work but have the children in nursery full time as money isn’t an issue. I’m not sure whether I should feel guilty about this.
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We're on a family holiday and my toddler woke up early as always so I got up to play with him. My husband slept in then when I was wanting to get breakfast sorted he was watching TikTok videos.
I made a comment about how we should maybe have a basket for phones as we're on holiday and he said that I was being controlling when holidays are for relaxing.
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The lord has definitely put it on my heart to home educate my children, my partner (their dad) likes the idea but is skeptical but his mum hates the idea and wants our kids to go to school
We have a 3 year old and a 21 month old
Neither have been to nursery but we go to lots of playgroups, they have swimming lessons, our girl does dance and our son does football I also make sure they spend lots of time free playing
I have started “home educating” them ofc it is just basics and preschool things, when I look at what preschool children should know by the end of preschool my daughter is doing almost everything even though her preschool year would be from September (she turned 3 in May) my partner thinks she should be doing more but I know his expectations are unrealistic
My parents would also like them to go to school but are happy to support us whatever we decide and it’s just their opinion and ig bias without having looked into home educating
My mil has even talked to my mum about it saying that she won’t let us (me, my partner and our kids) in her house if we don’t send them to school and she’ll come to my church and start telling ppl that I’m depriving my kids or something (ik very weird) which I know neither she will do but it’s sad that she would say those things and I know she’s probably said worse to my partner
The only reason they can give me for sending them to school is to socialise (which I know isn’t a reason) and the stance of you (me and my partner) came out okay why should they be any different (which makes me cringe as my partner dropped out of uni and is self employed) I personally have no career goals but I am happy being a stay at home mum although I have a few side hustles/businesses that I’ve started (ofc we know that the school system doesn’t really encourage free thinkers and entrepreneurs) I can’t really attribute our successes to school
Now the situation is my partner wants to enrol our daughter (3) in a nursery close by to us (he says just to try it out but I know only because he’s mum is pressuring him as he had no intentions of doing this prior to her talking about school) but we know they involve the kids in things like yoga which I wouldn’t want her doing but also pagan celebrations like Halloween, I know we can probably ask for her to be excluded from these things but I also wouldn’t want to isolate her my partner doesn’t feel as strongly about this (doesn’t care about isolating her)
I would love to find a Christian Montessori nursery for her to do maybe 3 hours a week or something but nothing like that in our area
None of the Christian nursery’s in our area have an outstanding ofsted rating either and I know I’m being picky but I feel as though we have to when it comes to where we are leaving our kids and their education, I’m kind of stuck on where to go or look as I don’t want to settle and send her somewhere I’m not happy with
Do I just continue to try and de-suade my partner into going down the nursery/school route?
Can he apply for her nursery place without my consent or signature?
I try and ask him what he wants to get out of sending her to nursery but he literally says “I just want to” and “just to try it out” which aren’t good enough reasons for me as I know I am providing a more than adequate learning environment for her & her brother with plenty of opportunities to socialise

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When did you introduce your little one to cartoons? I don’t want an iPad kid but to see what they like. My baby likes Mickey Mouse and the Mickey Mouse clubhouse

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Would you rather a smaller home to have a bigger life or stretch every month to have the forever home but not be able to do as much? I want the bigger life but husband wants the forever home rather than something smaller that we could still have as a forever home
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