What would you do

I would talk to her about it. Let her know what was damaged and how it made you feel. I wouldn't shame her as a mother because I don't think that will help but I would not just ignore someone. Set expectations and if she doesn't want to do that then end the friendship.

If she asks you to watch the kids I would either say you cannot watch them any more it is too much or explain their behaviour is not ok and explain what they have been doing. Also it's teaching your kids a bad example. If she is there and let's her kids do it there is no respect for you at all. I would keep my distance from her as she can't care if she is letting them do it. If they don't listen to her she should leave not let them keep going!

If she knows they're doing it that's a whole other issue. From reading i presume she doesn't know? I'd definitely tell her what has been going on, say that this isn't acceptable and if it carries on you won't be able to watch them at your house in the future. Hopefully that'll be enough to help the situation.

Also, does she return the favour and watch your kids if needed? If a lot of trips are last minute it sounds a lot like she's using your friendship for convenience. If there's never a trade off or a social where you're both involved and its just around you watching her kids then that isn't a friendship...

Have a chat with her about it

She’s not your friend. She just sees you as a free babysitter.

I don’t care if this woman lived next door to you, you need to stop being such a pushover and learn to stand up for yourself. From the first time that shit went down I would have called her to come back ASAP and pick up her kids and if she refused to, your next phone call would be to the police and social services that she had dumped/abandoned her kids.

These kind of people are pisstakers of the highest order. Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile. Because you’ve been such a pushover in the past, she knows you won’t say anything therefore she keeps lumbering them on you.

I would send her one message or tell her to her face why you refuse to babysit due to her kids behaviour and then block. If she turns up at your doorstep ask her what she wants. If it’s anything to do with her kids, just say no and close the door. You need to show her you have a backbone and she can’t walk over you anymore.

The first time i bought it to her attention she was like what kind of mother cant cope with small children and i said excuse me i can cope but theres only so much you can redirect someone elses child and its different too. She said she told them off but now i am seeing it more clearly... they are wild and left to be. I have been a pushover and i feel uoset i let myself get so deep into it.

I actually feel like a horrible person saying it all on here too :(

I end a friendship for less than that honestly. It seems like she doesn't respect you or your place...

I would end the friendship, especially if her kids are harming your children or putting them in dangerous situations.