Cleaning

I’ve been going to my grandmas house every weekend for Sunday dinner for a few months now. (With my 8 month old)

The house isn’t clean. It’s bugging me now. Her kids go there most weeknights so see her as my grands passed away 3 years ago so she’s on her own.

I cleaned her bathroom before I was pregnant.

I also cleaned the toilet when I went round there a few weeks ago bc it made me feel sick to sit on it so I just cleaned it.
(I found the stains I thought were part of chipped paint were actually dried poo)

I don’t feel comfortable going there anymore it’s so dirty. I don’t want to be rude either. But when her kids go there why don’t they do it? The answer is because they never clean either. Most of my family doesn’t clean.

I normally bring a picnic mat to put in the carpet for my son to play/sit on but forgot it last weekend so he was just on the carpet while we ate.
It wasn’t long til he was reeking of dog smell from the carpet.

My uncle said he’d clean the carpet when my boy got older but there’s no sing of that. And a few weeks ago I hoovered up in there because there was a dead fly that had been on the floor for weeks.

Is it rude to say something? I’ll even clean myself if I have to.

In the kitchen the floors never get cleaned, there’s dust, cobwebs on the sides and by the sink & piles of dead flies.

Our family had dogs and they go there for my grandma to look after while they go on holiday.

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I wouldn’t bring my child there

If your grandma and her adult kids think it is acceptable then you speaking up or doing the cleaning will only cause more issues. They will know it's true but because it makes them look/feel bad they will get defensive.
Have a 1:1 with your grandma be honest but kind. Cleaning a house is a big job for 1 person especially an elderly person and see what she thinks solutions could be?

I agree with talking to your grandma. Her kids don’t seem to care. I’d offer to clean if you are willing and you could also mention her kids and potentially talking to them about helping her. She might just be accepting living there not actually being ok with it, my grandma has a hard time cleaning her house so she’ll watch my daughter while I clean. Also if you decided the best solution is to just not go, you could always offer to host. Some family don’t like to change up stuff like that but could be an alternative if you want to keep relationships intact

How old is your grandma? I wouldn’t be bringing my baby there either. Unfortunately if she was/is a dirty person, her children probably learned that from her so they don’t feel it necessary to clean either. I’m assuming one of the “kids” is one of your parents?

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