Perspective on having a 2nd baby with an anxious and overbearing MIL
My husband and I have had brief talks about having a 2nd child but I have serious concerns regarding my MIL. While in the hospital in labor she was at my house painting the walls after I was very clear I didnt want her doing that. I also asked they not come to the hospital until after my labor and I was feeling up for visitors. They didnt respect that request either. My husband invited them to come over/spend the night the day we got home from the hospital. They visited every weekend the first month of us being home. I asked my husband to not invited them for a while and he was not very kind about it.
The two of them have been pushing "grandma bonding" on me since day one. She also rarely acknowledges me with visits. She will take a lot of time to say hi and bye to my son, who is in my arms and not say a word to me.
Recently, it seemed all the times Ive brought up issues to my husband was finally heard and understood. He went to his parents to explain how I feel disrespected by his parents and that my trust in them respecting my boundaries and myself is completely broken. They came over and gave a sincere and tearful apology taking accountability. However, since the apology, the behavior has not really improved. Its hard to discuss it with my husband because his reactions have been very dismissive and defensive.
All this to say, when he brings up a 2nd baby, he says we will need to lean on his parents(mom). My family isn't in the same state. I have flown out my mom to babysit. His mom has not baby sat once and I do not feel comfortable leaving my son alone with her.
Does anyone have more insight in having a 2nd child and how much they may have had to lean on family with a 2nd baby compared to just one?
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If your a stay at home mom ? You only really really need someone to keep your first overnight while your in the hospital. My kids are 13 . 7 and almost 3 months I've been lucky and only have been away the one night I had my last baby.
You just adapt to a different way of doing things. That's all. Currently my husband will sit with the baby while I take our middle to get dinner and later in the evening he'll sit with our girls while I take our son on a jog before we get ready to get them laid down for our own time together. He takes them to karate a few times a week for his conjoined alone time with our oldest 2. We also go on walks together around his work shift. We all go to Drs together.
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