Picking the surname

Me and my partner have argued all year about the surname. I want double barrel so we both in there and he wants his as it’s traditional. Yet we are not married and I pay 50/50 , hardly traditional.

My daughter was born last Wednesday and I only have 40 days to register before I get fined, he has expressed he will end up resenting me if it’s double barrel. He says it’s too “woke” and it’s not fair and I’ll eventually be part of the family with the surname.
But my argument is well then we can change her name when we get married. But he’s still not happy.

I know I’ll be picking his surname out of fear from him resenting me and I know I’ll resent him if I do.

Has surnames been a big deal for anyone or not?
I just don’t want to be the only one with a different surname. Also IF we ended up breaking up I’ll have a different surname to her I hate that.

Any advice would be great x

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My daughter has my surname and so does my son. You will also have to have a letter to take her on holidays from him as he will be on birth certificate, you will need the letter whether your together or not unless he goes with you.

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I told my husband that I would not take his surname unless he took a part of my surname. So ours is a mix of both which our Daughter is named with too. My husband is quite traditional with this too, but I said it a two way street and if I have his he should have mine.

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My kids (both from the same dad) actually have different surnames to each other 🤣 my eldest is double barrel and my youngest has my surname, they’ll both be getting their names changed once me and their dad are married anyway so I don’t think it really matters x

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