Finance arguments
For back story purposes my husband has always been bad with money and really reluctant to discuss finances it stems from his mom🙄
However previously he has lied about money spends it on himself or whatever he wants and then my money is for the family and everything we need. Everytime he is paid there’s a ‘random bill’ that needs paying or he’s been changed an extra amount randomly on a pre existing bill or money has just happened to leave his account I keep talking to him about it but he gets really defensive and says he’s going to sort it out he never does then there’s hundreds ‘missing’ over time. Yet my money seems to pay for all the food shopping everything the kids need everything we do as a family anything for the house school stuff presents etc. Everytime I ask for input he makes something up or empty promises or spins a lie. It’s awful having to worry to make sure your money can stretch to cover everything whilst I know he’s got money for himself and lies about it. His story is constantly changing on what happened with his money or why bills haven’t been paid and I always have to pick up the short falls. I’ve just had enough, why isn’t our family and our home and bills the priority.
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Finances are the number 1 reason why couples divorce. Not cheating. Not violence, but money. It’s such an important topic to tackle before you get married and make sure you are both in alignment.
If your husband is secretive with money and a liar, that really doesn’t bode well for you. There should be 100% transparency.
You should have access to the money so a joint account is a good idea, that way you can see where every penny is going. If he won’t agree to this - why?
In a true partnership, if you’re a SAHM and he’s working, his salary is supposed to cover the entire household, meaning all bills, child costs, rent etc come out of it and whatever is leftover, you save/invest a portion and then the remainder is split between you both so you equal amount of disposable income to spend on what you like.
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