Am I being paranoid ?

I need a bit of advice. I don’t know if maybe I’m being a bit too protective or sensitive or maybe easily annoyed.. anyway I feel like all of weight of having the baby falls on me. My partner has 2 older kids but I still have to remind him to give our 5 month old a nap and to change her nappy as most of the time he won’t do it or says he forgets. Anyway the part that got me tonight was I had asked him if he could please see to the baby the next time she wakes and is unsettled ( i do 100% of the time so shouldn’t be an issue) so he gets up with a moan and she starts screaming uncontrollably and she never is like this. So I’m lying worried like is she ok? He tells her to shut up and that he’s gonna be annoyed if he wakes up his other daughter who happens to be staying the night, and then says she needs to not be so loud. So I tell him to take her into another room to try settle her he refuses and says she just needs to go to sleep. At this point she’s going mad so as always it falls on me. I’m already shattered from the every other night wakings so I say give her to me I’ll try. She settles straight away. Am I being too sensitive or am I right to be upset with how he was with her ? She’s a baby, she can’t control being upset 🤯🥺

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

He sounds like an insensitive asshole to say shut up to a 5 month old. So i definitely don’t think you are being too sensitive. Did he tell you that you are being sensitive?

This man is lazy. Just reading all of this gave me the Ick. Before you got pregnant did you have a chance to see what he was like as a father to his other children? The weight of parenting should not just fall to you. If you are going to do everything, why are you with him?

He is a great dad to his other 2, and is never seen anything to make me believe otherwise. He wasn’t the most attentive when I was pregnant but again I thought maybe that was a me problem maybe I’m asking too much etc. I think he believes he’s doing a lot, because he works full time and then comes home and maybe has to give a bottle or a bath then that’s his duty done 😂 I’m like no no x

you have every right to feel the way you do!

You are not being sensitive he just has no instincts to calm a baby or provide adequate care. Yes babies are a lot more work than the older kids. If he was more present with the baby she would settle with him but she doesn’t because she knows he doesn’t pay attention to her. She settles with you because you are actively looking to meet her needs and she knows this. Babies are smarter than we give them credit for.

Some men are just better dads when the baby stage is over.

in our community

My baby keeps bursting out crying. What could be the reason?

My baby girl is 13 days old today and i am worried about the cries she has been showing me since Sunday. She would burst out crying for a short period and scrunch her self up showing what looks like pain in her stomach. Shes also crying when she passes wind and at the end of her feeds. I am doing a combination of formula and breastmilk, i am using infacol as it could be colic, massaging her daily and she cries when i do that, i just dont know what to do. I took her A&E yesterday and they said she is fine but im not convinced as she’s really upset and she’s not normally like this. Any advice please.

Reassurance?

My LO is 13 months old. He understands EVERYTHING. I say get the ball bring it to me he does. I ask him to show me the planes he points. He waves he claps. Everytime I speak to him he responds with ‘ooohh’
He babbles dadada wawawawa bababa and constantly makes noises. Like oooohh ahhhh uhhhh but no proper real word yet. Should I be worried?

Bulky travel systems? Buy or skip?

We went to explore pushchairs at mamas and papas and they really seem to encourage you to buy the ocarro package which is 12kg + and bulky once folded. Are these realistic to use post 6 months or is it better to go with something like Joolz/Nuna which are most compact but less sturdy I guess.

Advice on Sundown Scaries

Hello

Just looking for some advice on sundown scaries.

Our little girl is 11 days old today and I’m struggling with anxiety in the evenings.

She starts stirring and getting a bit grizzly in the evenings, on and off crying, wont be put down, just restless and cluster feeding. I find it quite overwhelming.

I feel pretty good in the day, but from 4pm I just feel riddled with anxiety.

I try to go to bed around 9pm if she’s settled & get a couple hours in before my partner brings her up around 11pm. Then my night shift starts.

I try to let my partner sleep through as we’re trying to establish a bit of a routine before he goes back to work next week.

Any advice on sundown scaries? How long did it last for you?

TIA

EBF

What age did you leave your breastfed baby away from you? My baby won’t take a bottle. I’m scared to go to the shop without him just incase.

Clinginess after starting Nursery

My little boy started nursery last week for 2 days.
Ever since he has been so clingy, he was never like this before.

He rejects his Dad and only wants to be held by me. He just arches his back and screams if it’s anyone else.

I have to be within touching distance at all times or it’s the end of the world.

He used to be so independent & didn’t mind me not being there?

Is he just adjusting? Is he scared? I just feel so bad but also so touched out!!

Has anyone had this happen to them?