in

Domestic Abuse Survivors

Vent/AITA

Ok so I just desperately need to vent.

My ex's mom (my kid's paternal grandma) got us our apartment in her name, all bills for the place are in her name. When I left, I had a utility debt that I owed, which I'm really disappointed in myself for. I promised her to pay it and that I wouldn't leave her to foot the bill for utilities used by my kid, myself, and her son.

My explicitly stated boundary was that I wouldn't pay a penny towards my ex's maintenance so none of the utilities or rent that accumulated after I left could come from me despite him being in a bad financial situation (job loss) because he assaulted me and cost me thousands as a direct result because I had to leave, find alternative lodgings, and pay for unnecessary moving and storage due to his (illegal) pressure and threats when he assaulted me.

Fast forward and my ex has continued to accumulate debts for every single bill he owes, both before and after I left and I still owe a big chunk of what I owed when I left. Aside from that, I kept my part of the rent and the other utility bill current to what was owed up to when we jetted (or so I thought bc we were behind on the rent which I had no idea about because while my part was always current, he wasn't paying his part or wasn't paying his part in full and was hiding it from me, only revealing after I left that we were in eviction status and acting like it was this very recent development despite telling me one week before the court date).

There's more background to the story but I already wrote a lot. We can just say his mom was shady with me regarding money after I left on more than one occasion and I played dumb but I'm mad as hell about it.

So after all that his mom called and started saying repeatedly that she's not asking for any more than I owe so she isn't asking anything unfair but can I give her the money I owe directly and not pay it to the utility company so she can spread it across other bills while she (retired) Ubers and diverts her own funds towards keeping my ex from being evicted and keep his utilities current... She said she wanted to spread it across to two bills (one is hers, one is his) and it's a bill we were current on when I left so he has apparently defaulted on it so badly that its in disconnect status across the board plus the eviction case is ongoing.

AITA for feeling like this is a completely messed up thing to ask me given the circumstances? I know I owe what I owe that's not anything I'm debating but I feel like it's dead wrong of her to ask me to let it be applied to his other bills... Am I being petty?