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Short cervix mamas

😭heartbroken

I’ve been going backwards and forwards about whether to write this, but I think I need to get it out somewhere, especially because I’m still trying to understand what happened to us. 💔

After everything we’ve already been through with three previous missed miscarriages, this pregnancy meant absolutely everything to us. We finally got our rainbow baby, our little girl, Millie-Rae. 🌈💗

The pregnancy had been going well. We’d had good scans, seen her wriggling around and heard her heartbeat. She was growing and everything seemed okay.

Then, start of 18 weeks, things changed.

I started having back pain, period-type pains and pressure, and then I began losing fluid. I was checked at the hospital and was told her heartbeat was strong and that everything looked fine. I was told to worry if I started bleeding.

But I continued leaking fluid and the pains and backache continued. A couple of days later my waters had actually broken, and on 5th September I gave birth to our beautiful little girl, Millie-Rae. She was born sleeping. 💔

I’m now trying to piece together how this could have happened.

One thing that keeps coming into my mind is my cervix.

I’ve since been reading about short cervix / cervical insufficiency and how sometimes the cervix can shorten or open without obvious symptoms, particularly in the second trimester. I don’t know yet whether this was what happened to me, and I don’t want to assume that it was, because we’re still waiting for the post-mortem and for more answers.

But I can’t stop wondering whether my cervix was ever properly checked or monitored.

I’d been having symptoms before my waters went, including pressure, backache and period-like pains. I had scans earlier in pregnancy, but I don’t remember being told that my cervical length was a concern or that it was being specifically monitored.

I’m now left with so many questions.

Could my cervix have been shortening without anyone knowing?
Should cervical length have been checked because of my previous losses?
Could anything have been done if it had been picked up earlier?
And most importantly, could this have been prevented?

I know nobody on here can tell me exactly what happened to Millie-Rae, and I’m not looking for medical answers from strangers. I’m just desperately trying to understand.

If anyone has experienced a short cervix, cervical insufficiency, waters breaking around this stage, or has been through something similar, I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences.

I’m completely heartbroken and still in shock. I carried our little girl for nearly 19 weeks, loved her, talked about her, planned for her and imagined our whole future with her.

Now I’m having to learn how to live without her. 💔

My beautiful Millie-Rae Dando.
Born sleeping on 5th September 2026.
Forever our daughter. 🤍