Custody
My boyfriend and I have a really rocky relationship. The last bad fight we had. He said that if we separate he's taking our kid from me. He said that he'll move out and take my baby. I am terrified of going to court and doing a custody battle. I'm afraid it'll traumatize our kid. Our kid, he's only 2 years old. I'm afraid that somehow my boyfriend'll get sole custody. I'm terrified that we do shared custody and my baby is neglected when he's at his father's. I pay for daycare for our kid, while I'm working. I work full time. Outside of work I do the majority of the childcare and manage the finances and calendar and cloth diapering and going to baby events with my little guy. The house is in both our names and I have nowhere else to go but I pay for the mortgage by myself. I do everything I can to be attentive and loving but I don't know how to prove that in court. The few times I've had his father watch him, his father is on his phone and my baby cries for a long time and most of the time it's because he had a poopy diaper. And his father keeps saying the baby needs to cry it out. His father says that I spoil our kid and that I'm a bad mother. I'm so scared and I want to leave but I don't want to risk a custody battle with a little one so small. I do my best to have alternative childcare to his father. I think I can do this a few more years. I'm willing to try counseling but at this point, I doubt it will help. I want to know how to prepare to separate and protect my kid. I've heard so many horror stories of custody battles going wrong, or just financially wiping you out. I don't know how to do this.
Read more on PeanutThe views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
I’d collect as much evidence just in case. I doubt court will give him sole custody they usually leave the child down to the mother (the mother has more rights of the child from birth) we had a similar situation with my brother and his partner she took him away behind his back for a week to a different country. Police and family courts wasn’t interested in what my brother was concerned about. I mean is he able to afford to take you to court?
All though I was once scared with my baby girl and her father (we had an argument I told him to move back to his mums house he told me my girl would be staying at his half of the week and I said not a chance when your parents smoke in the house and it stinks of smoke) then I realised if he wanted to report me to ss or anything like that I’m not afraid! I provide for her I love her and I protect her? She’s got a clean home and a safe home and is loved! Xx
Don’t wait. I kicked my ex husband out when my kids were 2 and 3 and I think because I did it so early it has helped them so much! They don’t remember what it was like when we lived with us and that is definitely for the best. So I would not worry about it being traumatic for him cuz what is a longer trauma to deal with is being around his mom who isn’t happy. Cuz staying where you are miserable steals your happiness from your child. And when it comes down to it a lot of men are just talk and threaten you with them fighting for custody to scare you into staying. Cuz I mean do you really think he is gonna wanna do all the work it takes to raise a kid by himself… probably not.
Download the Peanut App
