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Postpartum Depression + Anxiety

At what point would you say that the marriage is not fixable?

“You are so lazy why are you sleeping so much” said to me during the first trimester of my first pregnancy

“Why can’t you clean more like seriously stop being so lazy” said to me during the second trimester while I was still throwing up every single night

“I need the bed because I actually have a job and make money and it’s my bed because I got it before we were together” said after a bad argument and I slept on the couch while 7 months pregnant

“I’ll deal with the laundry later it’s fine stop nagging me” said to me 6 days postpartum after I asked if he could do a load of laundry because I had either bled through or had baby vomit on all my clothes. I ended up doing the laundry myself while crying because how bad my stitches hurt because it was only 6 days after my c section and I was only taking Tylenol once a day if needed

“You are being so lazy and just need to get up out of bed and try harder” said to me 3 days before we found out I was on the brink of septic shock and was admitted into the hospital with a massive abscess only 2 weeks postpartum


“You wanted to be a mom so this is your job stop being lazy, your sleep is a luxury you can’t get right now” when I said I was exhausted so badly my eyes burned after the second c section and taking care of 2 under 2……


“Why can’t you just watch him while you take a shower like seriously I work so hard and deserve to relax” said to me when I was 5 weeks postpartum and hadn’t gotten to shower in 3 weeks and asked if he could please watch our baby and toddler so I can have some time to myself

“You are a mom now that’s all you are. If you wanted to be alone and go off and do stuff you shouldn’t have had kids” said to me while going through an identity crisis and saying that i should still be allowed to be a person and have time to shower, eat, sleep, and do things for myself that he didn’t stop being a person when he became a dad.

“You are the reason you are depressed you just enjoy being miserable”
Said to me when I had to cancel the therapy program I was in because he couldn’t help with the children while I did group therapy online….


“You don’t look like you used to, you changed” ya I’m sorry that after 2 c sections, not going to hair salon in a year, not getting my nails, eyebrows or pedicures anymore ya I look different….i spend every night crying, I literally have done everything for this man. He wanted the kids I wanted to wait. He pushed for it . I have fibromyalgia, possibly endometriosis, I have permanent back injuries, I live in constant pain and I’m still cooking every meal, doing all the dishes, taking care of the pets, the kids, prepping his food for work, cleaning his scrubs, putting his phone and Apple Watch to charge, emptying his cooler after work, putting his shoes away, doing anything he asks, I did 16 loads of laundry this week alone between the 4 kids, us and changing all the sheets on all the beds myself, washing the couch covers and everything…..I literally fell yesterday because how exhausted I am….at what point would you give up.