Anyone want to be transparent about how marriage is going?
I get it now why they say you really see how things change once you have a baby. Me & my husband were doing well, he was so helpful in the beginning. Now, I’m really seeing the cracks. Keep in mind this is the same guy who would immediately drive over to my place in the middle of the night if we had fights when we were dating. Now husband & wife after a baby, the dynamic has changed but the fights? No resolution just the blame game. I’ll cry and he just shuts down and says he “scared” of me all because I get frustrated that I have to ask him “can I shower?” “can I get sleep more than 3 hour stretch it’s been a week?” Worst of all and most humiliating “can I poop?!” I know it’s natural guys but there’s something I just want for me. He’s so.. different now. I don’t know who I’m married to but it’s not someone who I fell in love with. He helps but only if I ask and that makes me feel like I’m asking all the time because I have basic human needs. Also, we’ve had discussions about this countless of times because I want to save the connection, but today I felt like it was hopeless once he said “scared.” That’s pretty sad considering no one close has ever described me that way, I’d like to think I’m gentle and do my absolute best to take care of him.
I don’t want us all going into a pity party or anything just support and honest brutal truths ig. If you read this far thank you. 🤍
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Im sorry girl, my husband and i also dont get to a resolution and it usually ends in the blame game too after fights so I completley get that feeling. I feel like men dont understand the mental loaf of parenting and what we are actully doing internally every minute of every day for our children and households. For me, my husband hasnt changed one bit, I honestly think hes gaming more and i get zero help with the baby or housework and to top it all off im unexpectedly pregnant again. I hate how im having to beg for any amount of help or him saying "be quick" whenever I go shower or go to the bathroom or just anything. Im trying to convince him to go to couples counseling so we can learn diffren communication techniques and understand each other better. I know it may not be alot but if you want to talk you can message me privately.
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