Parenting styles!

I'll also add his view is VERY strict. Our daughter is 3 and he expects so much from her its crazy. She's still a baby and trying to learn. But he doesn't want to listen because he was raised strict with a military dad.

Counseling has helped us soooo much! But I heard somewhere that your parenting style should be the parent your kid needs you to be. So when my husband and I do E agree, we refocus and decide what it is that will meet our LO's needs - it takes away the power dynamic for us.

I follow Montessori and attachment parenting styles while also incorporating AAP recommendations. My daughters dad doesn’t think it’s really a big deal, but he does try to follow the style that I ask. 

My husband and I differ a lot! But when I research and show him facts, studies, results, etc and explain why certain ways are better than others, he tends to listen much better than if I just tell him what I like or what I think

For example I used to get really upset when he would yell at our then 3 year old, but how I felt about it didn't make a difference. But when I showed him what we should be expecting from a 3 year old, how it works best to teach them, etc he listened

Check out big little feelings on Instagram. They teach you the science of your toddlers brain and what they can and can’t do at each age developmentally. Maybe the science will help him gain a better understanding.

Whether or not he hears you depends on the dynamics of your relationship, but bring him the science as mentioned above. Janet Lansbury’s books and podcasts are also a great resource for understanding effective but shame-free discipline and approach with toddlers.

If this is how he has been brought up then most likely he wont listen to what you have to say, regardless if its supported by facts. My husband is strict and all about discipline. This is how he was raised. To appeal to his softer side i had and still have to remind him that love is the most important aspect of any relationship and his role is to set the standard for future men in my daughters lives, freuds theory of first loves.
When your husband isnt home have your daughter make special gifts for him like pictures of me and daddy. Give these to him and explain how much she loves him and tell him to go say thank you because its good manners etc. You need to help him create an emotional attachment.

Well me and my husband are part of the special need world... and as fair as we can tell both our girls don’t have anything... that makes us both happy but I’m not sure how to raise a normal child as I was not raised as a normal child. The whole world knew that I was special needs and needed more help then other kids my age. Me and my husband were raised very different I was raised with rules and consequence and my husband was pretty much aloud to do whatever he wanted. His parents are both deaf so the boys we’re heading so I’m sure it was hard to find a good balance in the home. 

It can be so hard making decisions with someone whose personality is totally different from yours.

Thank you all for your input! I sat him down tonight for a talk and ended up breaking down in the middle of telling him how I feel about everything. Fingers crossed we can come to an agreement on things.