Engaged - First Years of Marriage with Dr. Chavonne

Hello. I am newly engaged. We’ve been together almost 5 years though so there is definitely history. A recurring theme in our relationship has been selfishness on his part. Things seemed to get better before I got pregnant, but now that she’s here we’ve regressed so much. Yesterday I suggested that we try to be more intentional about having fun together and getting out of the house as a family and just the two of us. I was met with frustration and concern about how hard that would be. He literally told me that he can’t be himself with me and it just feels like extra work when all he wants is the opportunity to zone out and have more time for himself. In his defense, he was willing to do it, but his attitude threw me off completely. I really don’t know if he even likes being a father and I’m confused as to why he even wants to get married. I know people need their personal time and space especially after a baby. I’m the mom I carry most of the parental weight and I work full-time.. He definitely gets more personal time than I do and still at the mention of us spending more time together all he can talk about is how he wishes he just had more time for himself by himself. Now I’m so confused. Should we even be getting married? Is this a normal thing that men go through? How could he want to marry someone who he doesn’t even feel comfortable just being himself around? Our baby is seven months by the way.

I have a highly stressful and very demanding job. My husband is usually home with the children. He works too. He’s mad at me most days or walks around moping. We got our child in the bed last night, this allowed us time to do the do, but I was thinking about other people and things. Like I wanted to tell him to stop but I knew we hadn’t done it in a while so I just let it be. The issue I have is we’re only one year into marriage. I feel as though last year he told me that I had to get a job that is paying $50,000 or more in order for us to survive. Now that I have it, it’s like ruining the relationship we thought we had. (We were dating for like 10 years engaged for three of those years. The 10 years were not like this we lived in separate homes and I wasn’t working this stressful job.) I don’t think I’m asking for advice. I think I’m just venting, but I’m annoyed and I have issues with this.

I would love a fall wedding, but my birthday is in October. Did any of you get married close to your birthday or on your birthday? Do you regret it, or has it worked out for you? If I did put distance between my birthday and our wedding, but still aimed for a fall theme, what do you think would be a good time gap between the two?

Girls I'm having such a rough time at the moment I'm staying anonymous due to his ex partner being horrid. I'm really struggling, not with being a mother to my LO I love him and I think I'm doing an ok job as a first time mum.. but I am struggling to get my partner to have any involvement in his life or mine and we are married. I have no social life i am either to work or at home and that's it. My partner spends a lot of time on the pub and when I confront him he tells me to shut up and that he loves me then walks away like all is ok and it's really not. Has anyone else had anything like this happen after they had a baby? I know a lot of people have different situations and are a lot worse off than what I am currently struggling with but I just need advice and friends.