Im looking for a stranger I can have real, deep, hard conversations with. Someone who is nice but also blunt and will lay it all out for me. I need help mentally. My depression comes in waves. Sometimes I feel so grateful for life and everything in it. Then one day I wake up and all of a sudden I feel like a dead weight, a robot in my own life. I hate my job , I hate the way I am and most of the time I donβt feel strong enough to overcome anything . I take medication but I canβt tell if itβs working . I beat myself up all the time over everything . Iβve tried positive affirmations , I know I need to change my thought process , I take medication, but itβs all easier said than done and I donβt know how to make it stop. I do nothing but sleep as often as I can, sometimes forcing myself to nap just because I want to get away from everything but I hate it . I hate that Iβm like this, I donβt know how to make it stop. I feel like my family donβt really understand. Some of them just have that suck it mind set and others just tell me everything Iβm feeling is valid . But like it so hard for me and I donβt know why. Everyone else has hard lives too, some way harder than mine and they can still get through daily stuff , why canβt I ? Everything I do either overwhelms me instantly or makes me what to shut down. Whatβs wrong with me ? I have a three year old son and I want so much better for him. He deserves a better mentally stable mother and it makes me so sad everytime I think about it. I yell at him too much , I donβt have the energy or want to play with him like almost never. Why is it like this ? Someone please tell me what to do . I donβt know anymore. I feel like Iβve tried but nothing I try ever sticks .