Mamas with depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders

I got unexpectedly pregnant with someone I thought I loved but during pregnancy and now 6 months pp I don’t feel that anymore, as his smoking, swearing and other things became too real. I love my baby but I feel miserable every day living with the dad who is so moody. I feel like I’ve ruined my life, which was so good before, and wish he wasn’t baby’s dad 😭😭 he doesn’t know I feel this way and he’s not a bad person I just think we’re not compatible. I have never felt so low in my whole life, I just feel like crying every day, I don’t know what to do 😞😞😞

If this triggers someone I am sooo sorry, I just need someone to talk to who isn't my family.

I am 20 weeks pregnant with my second, and I hate myself for getting pregnant again.

We were trying and at first were happy, but then I started throwing up again (nowhere near as much as last time) and my partner suggested maybe we should abort because he was worried about my nearly two year old and my mental health.

I decided not to after a couple of weeks of thinking about it and I think I made a mistake. I'm terrified that I am feeling movement and don't care and that I won't love them when they come out. Sometimes I have thoughts like "I hope my daughter jumps on me hard enough that it dies", we were moving and I was lifting the heaviest boxes, that I normally wouldn't even try and I've only recently realised I was trying to miscarry.

The thing is my partner and family all know and are extremely excited, if I try to get an abortion now I'd be seen as a monster, and I fear I would see myself as one and would want to hurt myself more than I already do sometimes.

I am waiting for an appointment with a therapist.

Has anyone felt like this, kept the baby and felt love afterwards?

I’m only working cause I need to provide for my family.. I feel so helpless and worthless being at work only a month in and already I have people talking shit about me when I’m sitting right there.

I feel like I don’t belong here or anywhere. I feel so worthless being a fucking person, mom, sister, daughter and a wife.

I feel like dropping in a hole. Already I had call center talking about firing someone cause someone is coming back to work here. Fuck let them fire me because I’m not qualified for cause I’m only speaking 1 language. Fucking English.

Fuck I hate my life.

I’m 27 weeks with my 3rd baby, I’ve always struggled with anxiety and panic attacks but lately (due to hormones) they seem more frequent and unpredictable (no known trigger). I’ve given birth twice before and been fine BUT this time around I’m so worried about having a panic attack during labour (more than I’m worried about the labour itself). Anyone else?

I’m worried about embarrassing myself-I have physical reactions when I have panic attacks and I’m worried about what other people will think or say.

Thanks x

Sometimes all I feel like I’m good for is cooking and cleaning the house. I don’t feel special or good about myself, it’s just all about taking care of everyone else. I’m sure it’s just my depression.. but it still tricks my mind to thinking bad thoughts