Loss at 20 weeks

2 days ago we went in for our 20 week ultrasound. We were so excited to find out the gender but found out there was no heartbeat. I was induced and after 4 hours in labor gave birth to our 2nd little boy. We held him, named him, and cried so much.

My husband is already talking about still not wanting our son to be an only child. I don't want him to be either but I think I would be a mess during pregnancy. I'm 35 so I don't feel like I have much time to try again.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

I'm so sorry your going through this 😔. I'm sending you so much love.🤍

Avatar

Sending my love 🙏🏾🌈

Avatar

I’m so sorry. Would you like to share your son’s name with us?

My twins Auden and Este died at 20 weeks last June. Its so heartbreaking, truly the hardest thing a parent should never have to do is say goodbye as they also say hello. If you ever need someone to talk to who gets it, or want to talk about TTC after loss, my DMs are open to you 💜

Avatar

His name is Tobias (God is good) Gabriel (God is my strength).

Avatar

Oh Michala I’m so so sorry. ♥️ We went in for our 19-week anatomy scan this January and found out we’d lost our baby at 16 weeks. It was (and still is) devastating. We were so excited to find out baby’s sex. He was our 5th baby and our first boy.

Please feel free to message me if you need to talk ♥️

Avatar

Hi Michala. I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear of your sad loss. My heart breaks for you 💔 There really are no words at a time like this…. Whilst my circumstances are a bit different I can relate to the pain you’re no doubt feeling right now. I lost my twin boys last month, at 22 weeks. Whilst born alive they weren’t with us for very long due to being so early. It really is shattering, after being so excited about their arrival and having so many hopes for them. It’s the cruelest thing to have them taken away like that. It’s something I’m still trying to come to terms with, and sometimes I’m not sure I ever will…. I’m 37, and it took my husband and I a while to conceive the boys. So whilst it feels wrong to even think about trying again like you I worry I don’t have much time. We do still really want a family so I feel like even though mentally I’m not ready I can’t wait too long x

Avatar

I'm so sorry. I hope you got some time to hold him and be with him. It's never enough and it will always be the biggest loss. Take your time healing. You will always grieve Tobias. I'm hoping to have more kids and I'm going to be 34 soon, don't lose hope mama. When your ready, that will be the best time.

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

Leaking waters?

I’m 35 weeks today wooo but… every morning for the past two weeks I’ve woken up with a palm sized water mark in my pants! - no smell, no pain and unaware of it happening…

I thought it might be leaking waters so got it checked out but the midwife said it was might be urine/watery discharge! - but it’s still happening.. thoughts? 💭🫶🏻

Avatar

2

10

17 months

How is my baby girl already 17 months!?! She is such a happy girl, and I hope that continues throughout her life!

Avatar

10

10

Pelvic girdle pain and birth

I have been experiencing awful pain. More so recently. I'm now using crutches to get around but it's more painful at night and when I lay down or sit down. I'm worried about birthing. I've got other issues and baby boy is estimating 8pounds at 36 weeks. I've been booked in for an induction 9 days prior to my due date. Surely he's going to be even bigger and I just don't feel like I've had any birth discussions in detail really. Ive only seen midwife twice and each time I've seen a consultant it's someone different. Has anyone else experienced awful pelvic pain and birthed a big baby?

Avatar

5

Upcoming C-section.

So I’ve decided to go for an elective C-section, I know it’s the right choice after months of deliberating but I’m soooooo nervous.

I’ve had 2 very complicated births. I kinda know what to expect from the recovery as I had an emergency section with my first but I just feel nervous about being awake during it & what it feels like.. I’ve heard they strap your arms down and I’m scared of something going wrong.

I know every experience is different but if you’re happy to share what your elective was like for you (good and bad) id be very grateful. I feel really unprepared!

Avatar

25

C-section infection

Anyone with c-section infection experience?
I’m 9 weeks pp and I’ve been battling an infection on the left hand side of the wound for 4 weeks. Now that I managed to get that side better, the other half suddenly started oozing.
I’ve been on 3 rounds of antibiotics, I’m pretty sure they are giving my baby reflux. What the hell I’m supposed to do??!! 😭

Avatar

5

32 weeks baby weight

What has everyone’s baby weighed around 32 weeks? Just came out scan and they estimated about 4lb 11oz that normal?

Avatar

9

Read more on Peanut