Mom guilt

I recently found out that I’m pregnant and over the last few weeks my first born, not by the man I’m pregnant by and marrying now seems to be struggling. She had voiced her excitement about a baby sibling but is even more clingy for lack of better words. She’s been waking up extremely early in the morning and coming into bed with us and snuggling and having a very hard time going to sleep with out me there. She’s turning five soon. so it’s clear she’s receptive to what’s going on. I’m also starting to struggle with the thought that these moments I have alone with my daughter are dwindling and there will be a whole new balance and focus to the house hold. Things are changing and its exciting but I’m struggling with the realization that my little is having a harder time with it then I thought she might. Any advise? I know that was a lot…

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It's completely normal for her to feel like this, my 2nd child was the same she is 5 and when I had my baby 5 months ago she changed so much her behaviour she started wetting the bed ect, I'd say just try and spend some 1:1 time with her before the baby comes and try as much as u can when baby is here , get her involved ask her to help u out with things with the baby , or even getting things ready for the baby, my 2nd daughter hard a real hard time when the baby came , but we are 5 months in and she is coming to terms with it now , but my first daughter it didn't faze her at all having my 2nd baby or my 3rd xx

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And I'd say get your daughter a "present" of the baby when they are born they love this have the baby have it in the cot when she comes to see them, and also I'd say when she does meet her sibling let it just be you daddy and her ☺️ and she won't feel overwhelmed that everyone is cueing over a new baby

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Adding a new baby is hard for everyone, especially a child. Just as you don’t know what to expect, she really doesn’t know. Does that mean she is no longer important? What will my home be like? Will my parents still love me? What seems logical to an adult, seems frustrating to a child, as a 5year old doesn’t even have logic or reasoning as part of their brain, these enter the human brain approximately at age 7 for most children.

What can you do…
Make sure your routines throughout the day in the mornings and evenings especially are consistent now and when baby comes.

Start making pretend baby is already there by using a doll. Interrupt play time, meal time with crying and both of you go get baby (the doll) together. Act out what life will be like so she understands the interruptions of a newborn and the needs that she can help with as a big sister.

Make sure you are spending one on one time with her and ask questions to her and help her express her concerns and feelings. More….

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After the baby comes, spend one one one time with her, not just when the baby is sleeping, but put the baby down in a swing or playmat after the baby’s needs are satisfied, so she can see you prioritizing her over baby, and then play with her.

If you need more help, reach out to me or if you don’t have my book, you will
Find it so helpful as I wrote it as a manual for raising kids. RAISING HAPPY TODDLERS at CeliasBooks.com

Hope this helps and all the best for a healthy baby and family ❤️❤️

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