How to move through mom guilt?

I realized recently that I tend to lose myself in everything negative when my baby gets hurt in any way — especially due to something I couldn’t do right like trimming and filing his nails well (it’s become so difficult once he started moving so much that I can’t get them done right in time before bed time) or him becoming overtired at the end (even after I tried giving him extra nap session after 2.5 hr wake window and he didn’t want to nap in the late afternoon). I just get so overwhelmed when I hear him cry for something I feel like I’m responsible for which is his health and safety…how do I move through these moments?

I’ve noticed that my reaction to those events became so significant that I really am harsh on myself at the end of the day. Seeking help or words of wisdom!

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I think you nailed it with your last sentence. You can't do everything to make your baby's life perfect as much as we would want that to be the case. They'll fall and cry and get overtired and sick and it doesn't feel great but you can't beat yourself up over living. It might be worth seeing if you can talk to a therapist or similar just to have someone to talk to about these kinds of thoughts.

This isn’t the answer but since I noticed that you were struggling with trimming his nails, Have you tried filing his nails after he falls asleep? I only trim his nails after he is out cold. It works like a charm. He has never woken up from it.

Thank you 💕 your kind note struck a chord for me — you can’t beat yourself up over living. Illl remember this!!

Thank you ! When you trim his nails, what lights do you use? My baby sleeps in almost pitch black area in his crib at the lowest position currently and sometimes I can’t get to him

This is what I use. I currently use the blue colored head for his age. I use it at the L2 setting and its fast and thorough. Since it comes with its own light when you turn it on, you won’t need to turn on the lights in your room.

Baby Nail Trimmer File with Light... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0878TL8JG?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

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Are there any moms whose husbands think being a stay-at-home mom is a breeze, something they could do easily all day? Do they feel it's not tough, that you shouldn't have problems like they do, or that having a baby is simple, just because they chat with other women who say they want another kid and it didn't hurt at all, or that pregnancy doesn't mess with your body, I'm just curious and trying to understand.

This is not mommy related but I need some help

My husband cooks on many stoves at once on high flame - we have a small house with no exhaust fans - so it tends to result in lots of smoke in the house , the fire alarm going off many times and also me and our 2 year old som coughing and also our 2 year old old son’s room overheating as it’s directly above the kitchen

My husband likes to get in and out of thr kitchen as fast as possible - if you see him cooking - it looks like he’s in a rush (but that’s just how he operates , nobody is rushing him)

Anyways this is something I’ve spoken to him about multiple times and even in the current moment if we’re coughing he says he cant turn the stove down or turn off anything because certain foods (like the way he prepares salmon or steak has to be on a high flame. )

I’m just trying to figure out how to survive this because I dread most times when he prepares dinner (which is mostly Sundays ) - I’ve started planning to be away with friends that time but that’s not always sustainable - but trying to see what else I could do in the interim.

I will remind him to keep stoves as low as possible , or ask not to use so many burners at the same time

I’ll ask him to open windows (our kitchen window broke and can’t stay opened much - so we half open the door instead )

But trying to see what else I can do -because each time he cooks I’m annoyed and he’s annoyed with me telling him these things.

You would think my husband has selfish tendencies but his mom operates the same way - she cooks high flame multiple pots on at the same time with all windows closed - so that’s what he’s used to. But just trying to see what’s best for our family

Being a boy Mam really isnt for the weak

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My daughter is 19 months so I'll be potty training her in the next year and of course I don't know what that's gonna be like but yeah honestly being a Mam to a boy just isn't for the weak 😂

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