Trying again after miscarriage

I had a missed miscarriage last year, we went to our gender scan at 16 weeks and 5 days and unfortunately she was too precious for this world, no heartbeat was present! It broke our heart and our childrens. Honestly I didn’t feel I’d ever be able to go through that again and went onto the pill - I lost a fair amount of weight and ended up falling pregnant I’m sorry to say but even now at 36 weeks pregnant I’m so scared because I never had any miscarriage symptoms but I think that’s normal - your angel babies will always be with you in your heart and having experienced the loss will never go but your rainbow baby will come to you one day - let your body rest and consult with your GP for advice, good luck 🤍🤍

thank you so much for sharing! I’m so sorry about your loss. congratulations on your rainbow baby! Wishing you all the best!💗

Im so sorry. my first daughter was stillborn at 31 weeks and then I've had 3 miscarriages since one being after 20 weeks. Just found out Im pregnant and I am a nervous wreck. best I've gotten so far is to say positive affirmations and trust my body. Its hard any time there are funny pains or feelings but trying my best to be positive. Try writing out some affirmations to help when you're anxiety is high!

I got pregnant with my first the first month we tried and he was born happy and healthy. Then I had four back to back miscarriages. Each one just a couple months apart. I started trying the next cycle with three of them but one of them I lost later into the pregnancy and I waited 2 months before trying again after that. Eventually I got pregnant with my little girl, she is here too, happy and
healthy.

We've changed our plans a bit.
We wanted four-five kids with the pregnancies about 18 months apart. Thought it would be "easy" since we got our first so quickly. Turns out we don't have any trouble getting pregnant we just don't get to keep them all. Because we had so many losses we are considering having three-four instead of four-five. This depends on my health, mental and physical. We also have started trying for our third 12 months postpartum instead of 18. So, I just had another miscarriage a little under a month ago.

I'm too wordy, the rest of my comment is below this one...

How I manage the fear? Call me crazy but I get super excited right away, every single time. I convince myself as much as I can: it'll stick. I pull out maternity clothes, plan how to announce the pregnancy, tell people I'm pregnant as early as I want... and if it doesn't stick I take time to let myself fall apart. I cry my eyes out and I grieve. I take all the space I need. When I feel that I can handle another miscarriage I try again. It works for me because we deserve to be able to get excited every single time, because every single time it's a beautiful, amazing thing that deserves to be celebrated and we should feel no shame about feeling broken when we lose one whether it's the 1st or the 20th. Despite my efforts, it's true that I don't get quite as excited now but it helps me process the loss to have been able to celebrate the life. If you let fear stop you from celebrating the pregnancy then all that pregnancy ever gets to be is pain and without joy, there's only so much pain we can take.

Tips:
Seek doctor's advice to protect your health and aid the process, but don't be afraid to ask for a second opinion if it doesn't feel right. The recommended wait times after miscarriage vary greatly depending on who you ask.

If you decide to keep trying quickly after each loss, you may want to let your friends/family know that you are not being goaded into it. For some reason people felt the need to tell my husband to give me a break and let me rest. It's okay if you need to take time before you start trying again, but it's also okay if you don't.

Don't be afraid to get therapy. You have a lot of options and they can be very helpful.

Try not to dissociate. Ignoring or pushing away feelings may feel better in the short term but will prolong healing time. Let yourself grieve. I made that mistake at one point and it's a lot harder to force yourself to deal with feelings after you've pushed them away than it is to simply let yourself experience them when they first come. Get help and face them head on.