Baby blues vs PPD

Firstly, well done for admitting this, you’ve taken the first step.

I would contact your midwife to tell them how you are feeling. My midwife explained that how you feeling is so very normal. They have support in place for this very reason and can help with the bonding as well as other services.

You aren’t alone in this, reach out to them today and be brutally honest. You’ve still got loads of hormones going around your body.

Be proud of yourself for taking this first step 💞

my midwife has been gone since week 34 so I’ve just been past midwife to midwife who ever has been available.

Very brave to admit this to yourself. That's the first step to getting the support you need.
Please speak with your health visitor (should be seeing you now your midwife care has stopped) or GP about getting some support as this is definitely not just the baby blues.
It is totally normal to have these feelings of doubt and bonding struggles, I wish more women would talk about how hard it is adjusting to life with a new baby is, how much it affects your relationships and your own self.
Just know you aren't alone and the help is there.
Sending hugs x

Any midwife will be able to help. It was a MAU midwife that mentioned this to me and they can also put you in touch with a mental health support midwife who will guide you to the right options

100% give your health visitor a call that's what they are there for. I was told when they came to visit me at 36 weeks to ring them if I ever am unsure of my feelings and feel like it might not just be baby blues. If you're not sure how to open up to your partner yet, maybe try call them while he's not around - you may feel an instant relief just by speaking to them and they can guide you on how to approach your partner if this is what you are worried about.

Please don't put it off, you've recognised this really early and done well to actually recognise it yourself. Xxx

Well done for acknowledging it and as others have said, either go via your health visitor or GP. Please don’t be shy or feel weird at saying what you need to say, that’s what they’re there for and wishing you all the best with accessing the support x

So I told my partner I don’t think I love the baby as he caught me crying my eyes out and wouldn’t take I don’t want to talk as an answer and he just said I do it’s just the baby blues the nurse told us about and left. He hasn’t really spoke to me since and I’m feeling really alone and so unsupported.

You need to tell your healthcare professionals now, they’re the ones who will understand right now, your partner not so much x