What would you do?

If you stop him, he’s going to resent you and by his past actions there’s every possibility he’ll just walk out anyway so he can go. If he does go, as horrible as this sounds I would prepare yourself for him cheating again. Given your one night stand, he’s just going to see that as a green light to do what he wants as some backwards sort of ‘revenge’. So either way, I don’t think you’re going to be happy with either outcome.

my one night stand was when I was single as we broke up 2 weeks ago but obviously that doesn’t make it any easier for him. So confused

Sadly I think has nailed it. It’s a really horrible situation. I think he is now emotionally blackmailing you to go on the holiday, but I’d let him in all honesty. Take it as for some time for you too to have a think about you and your health, maybe try and get some support for your MH and consider this might be a bit make or break in terms of trust. He could either spend some time with his mates and behave, or cheat again. If he is faithful, then there is credit to what he is saying about wanting a future, and if he isn’t, I think unless you get some pretty good counselling together it might be worth considering what you want in a relationship and if this actually meets your expectations. In all honestly from everything else you have said about it, it doesn’t sound like either of you have been very happy for a while

Really good reply and I appreciate the honesty. Thank you

You made it clear that him not going on this one was something that you needed from him to move forward. If he’s serious about committing and building your trust up then he would take it upon himself to not go on the holiday off his own back to show you that you’re more important to him.

I agree. Feel like I deffo need to stick to my guns. It’s the one and only thing I asked of him. Just feel sick to the stomach because I don’t think he’s going to give the holiday up

Hey hun, shit situation. I also think that you would feel better long term knowing that you can trust him to go away n not cheat, if u let him go. I wouldn't want to marry someone who I couldn't trust when we were apart. No doubt they'll be many more lad hols in the future, and you don't want to always be saying no. I would let him go and use it as a test to see his loyalty. If he cheats, I think you know he's not as ready to settle down as he says.

I think if you actually want to be with him you need to let him do him and you need to do you, with trust. Might be hard to get there since you’ve both wronged each other, but to give trust is very important. Without it, you will resent each other and you will end up in a toxic situation or a single situation

It sounds like you’re as bad as each other and once the trust is gone… I’d cut your losses and move on

I don't think she is as bad tbh ladies. From what I gauge, they wernt together at the weekend. I mean, I still don't think it's great, but it's different doing something when you are together and doing things when you're not. I do agree with the question someone asked though about whether you're right for one another.

This is just unhealthy. The trust is gone on both sides. You’re the one who stayed with him after cheating. Let him go . If he cheats again, I mean he’s a cheater and that would be that

To everyone saying I’ve cheated on him, I have not, we’d been split up for 2 weeks

Hey hun! This is not a nice situation to be in but I think some of the comments are right in the sense of if you can’t trust him (which I do not blame you for as he cheated! I’d be so angry and not trust him either) it probably long term isn’t good for you because you need to both be able to be apart from eachother and know you won’t cheat. But I know how hard it is to walk away from someone you love it’s not easy. As for your one night stand , you mentioned in the comments you were single so technically haven’t done anything wrong. On the other hand I think you’ve made it clear to him how you feel about the lads holiday , given the fact you don’t trust him due to HIS actions and if he ignores that and is dismissive then I don’t think he is bothered and as hard as it is to realise but doesn’t care. Maybe try having a conversation with him and see where it gets you but I think long term you both leave whatever’s happend in the past in the past and find a way to move from it xxx

But it seems like emotional blackmail because he agreed to not go on it and I can understand you not trusting him as he cheated on a previous lads holiday so really he shouldn’t of thrown his toys out the pram when it was agreed 6 months ago to not go, I do feel awful for you tho and hope that he does change and doesn’t cheat again💓

thank you. One of the loveliest replies and it’s all so true xx

I know you’ve posted anonymously but if you ever do wanna talk just drop me a message 💕

thank you! That’s very kind x

You both slept with someone else! I'd say the table is even. He is now wanting to settle down and get married, yet he wants to go on a holiday again to potentially cheat, which is how I see it. He walked out on you after you said no, and that to me just shows he doesn't have appropriate intentions on that trip. Otherwise, why would it matter so much that you don't want him to go. Idk. I'd say no personally, and if he couldn't respect that as my partner and potential husband than he could hit the curb.

Stick to ur guns 💪🏼