Huckleberry/Ferber method

Just thought I’d share my experience - hopefully may help someone!

I was really struggling with naps, sleep queues etc so downloaded the huckleberry app and honestly couldn’t be without it now! It’s 100% accurate for us each time.

I appreciate this isn’t for everyone - after at least 5-6 wakes each night I decided I needed to try something. I chose the Ferber method. Rocking/holding him to sleep was becoming such hard work, he was hitting my face, grabbing my face, my hair, fingers in my mouth, kicking his legs and we were both getting worked up. And it would take ages!!

I started by holding him until he was sleepy, placing him down into his cot and leaving him for 3 mins. After a few days I upped this to 5 mins and then again to 7 mins. I can honestly say hand on heart he has never got to the point of insoluble crying. He now knows, lights off, sleep suit, cuddle and into bed. This is for every nap and bedtime. Naps are still only 30-40 mins max but they are not stressful.

Bedtime - he’s now down by 6:30 latest, wakes between 9-10 for a feed. Again around 3 and then up for the day around 7am. Not only am I now getting some sleep, he’s also a lot happier from sleeping better! He’s also never ever cried for the whole time weather this be 3 mins, 5 or 7. It’s amazing how quickly they learn. He does have a muzzy and dummy for comfort which I would say has also helped.

As I said, I appreciate it’s not for everyone, it’s hard! But may help someone 🫶

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When going back in after the 3/5/7 minutes, do you rock him again or just soothe him with touch?

no I don’t pick him up, I just soothe him via touch. Hair stroke, hand on chest, bum tap, put dummy in if needs be, “shhhh” etc x

Did you pay for the advance part of the app? I did the trial for it and it was great but didn’t pay to carry on?! Wondering if I just need to do it? X

I did but honestly you don’t need to. They basically send you ideas on what to do etc but personally I hadn’t chosen to follow their suggestions because they wouldn’t work for me. Their advice was to hold to sleep but not rock/bounce x

couldn’t agree more 🙌

I also pay the extra for the sweet spot prediction and it helped so much! I couldn’t be without it right now!x

Oh amazing thank you I’ll look into it again 🩵

We paid too and it is spot on!! Love the app, really helps to not have a tired grumpy baby

How old was your LO when you did the Ferber method?

so I started a week ago today, and he was 4 months on the 19th x

I really need to try this. I rock bounce hop (you name it) my girl to sleep! Thanks for sharing your experience, you've given me hope that they can sleep independently!

they can, trust me!!! Don’t get me wrong, it’s not nice hearing them cry but they are in a safe space and they will be okay. Ferber tells you to do 5,10,15,20 mins etc but personally 7 mins is long enough for me but as I said, we’ve never got to that point of crying! It’s not for everyone, but if you can hold on in there it can work. Good luck 🫶

Can I ask what you do about the dummy if little one spits it out before the 3/5/7 minutes? Have/would you go in earlier to put it back in or wait until the time had passed?
I ask because we play the dummy game every time we put her down to sleep so we are constantly in and out putting it back in

nope I wait! And actually, it’s weaned him off the dummy slightly! Like you, I was putting it back in several times. He always falls asleep by himself now dummy or not. When I go back in I will always offer it to him but sometimes he won’t take it. So far tonight he’s done 6:30-9:30 (feed) back down for 9:45, woke at 3:30 to feed and just put him back down now. been 1 week so far 🙌🤞 xx

Is your little one sleeping in the same room as you? Or in his own room?
I’m struggling with my little girl because she’s currently sleeping in my room and wakes at least 4 times a a night.

he’s in his own room. I started off by sleeping in there with him for about 10 days but it made no difference to wakes etc. since starting the Ferber method he’s been in there alone and works well for us. He’s also started having some of naps in his cot alone since about 8-10 weeks. We do one contact nap a day still, I’m not ready to let go of that just yet 🫶

Thanks for sharing that really interesting and reassuring to hear/ read. Currently my little one goes down very easily for naps but in my arms. I can pop him down 5 mins after he has gone to sleep but I know I need to take the leap and start the process of getting him to sleep out of my arms just building up the energy to try.
did you start with naps or bedtime sleep or all at once?

thank you 🫶 I started everything at once. He was already having naps in his cot however I was holding him to sleep then putting him down once he was asleep. I was so exhausted I basically woke up and thought something needs to change so bit the bullet and once week on can honestly say it’s been the best decision I’ve made 🙌

Thank you, I think I am getting to the same stage as you just need to build up the courage x

you can do! Leaving your baby to cry (if they do) for 10 seconds isn’t nice let alone 3,5,7, mins or however long you chose I get that! The first few days were HARD and I felt awful but overall he’s happier, we’re all happier and the difference over a week has been huge. Best of luck 💙

When you put him down when sleepy and you waited three minutes were you in the room or left him as he had drifted off?

no I left the room. I would go back in after 3 mins for about 20-30 seconds. No speak just touch/comfort and go again. After about 2 days I upped it to 5 mins, and now 7 mins if he hasn’t already fallen asleep x

Ok thank you that’s really helpful! ☺️ x

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Me and my partner agreed to sleep in 1 day of the weekend.
He doesn't find it fair to look after both kids (my 4 year old isnt his) while i sleep so he looks after the baby while i sleep and my toddlers at his dads and ill look after both the next day.
Straightaway it was pretty unfair as i let him sleep in until he wakes up 10-12
He wakes me up when baby starts fussing because he wants milk (doesnt need it)
I cant pump as i dont supply enough.
So i get woken at 9/9:30 to feed baby then i get him sleep then theres no point sleeping in as my toddlers being dropped off.
I also find it unfair that i get both kids to sleep most night, i get my toddler to sleep everyday hes home (4/5days) and i get my baby to sleep most nights with the exception of maybe twice a month as his dad struggless then about 95% of his thru the day naps.
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After i had been up til 11:30 getting both kids to sleep lastnight and my partner falling asleep at 10 then him ignoring the baby cries all morning until my toddler woke up im fed up slammed to door and rold him not to expect to sleep in unless he gets the baby to sleep the night b4.
I keep having issues with him not feeling the wet from baby being sick or weeing himself or being able to smell it do about 98% of the time hes given to me i have to clean him up n change him.
Including at night, we agreed my partner would change nappies (1 a night at 5am) while i feed (2,4,5,6:30) but every night when i get him hes pissed through and my partner gets annoyed when i wake him up n moan about it.
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Ok, this might get a bit long, and a bit bumpy, so get comfy and buckle up.

So about a week or 2 ago, there was a post on here regarding sleepovers. Not letting their child go to them as you can't trust who'll be at the house etc.

Now, given recent incidents in nurseries and schools, plus my own experience back in the 90s, I am more concerned about sending my child to nursery and later school than I am to a friend's house for a sleep over.

The other day a man was jailed for abusing children at the nursery he worked at. A woman has been arrested for sleeping with an underage boy and then getting pregnant by a different underage boy while on bail for the first offence.

Young girls and boys get sexually harassed and bullied when at school, not all of them. But more than you think. And not just by other kids, but by adults who we as parents are trusting to look after our kids.

A sleepover, is a more controlled environment, with only a handful of people coming into contact with your child. A school, a club etc there can be 100s of people coming into contact with your child.

I was targeted at 7 years old by the owner of a prominent private school. Thankfully, I wasn't SA'd. In year 5 of primary school, I started to develop early, I was harassed by the boys and teachers made remarks about how my uniform didn't fit right, always "adjusting it" around my chest and legs.

Years 7-9 of secondary school were hell. But it was all under the guise of "we're just messing around". A teacher twanging my exposed bra strap (none uniform day) is not "messing around".

Boys pinning me down trying to rip open my shirt to see my breasts.

I fear for my daughter. I hope she takes after my father's family, flat chested.

We need to educate all our children, what is acceptable behaviour. And to come to us, as their parents should ANYTHING happen.