I am so angry - don't know how to deal with this

My dad is a dick, always has been and always will be.

I hate all these things you see about how a girls first love is her dad, how dad will always come first, how dad will always do anything for their daughters, how women pick men who are like their fathers.... etc. It is simply NOT TRUE in my case.

I despise the man and I wish I never had to see him. He was horrible to my mum when were growing up, he was horrible to us kids when we were growing up and he's still fucking horrible now 😡

He can never be happy for me. Always got to slag me off. I can't complain about being short of money because of the house I live in apparently, when I got married, why did I have to get married in a location an hour away? Why could I get married in a registry office? The list goes on. The problem is he never says any of this to me and always says it in front of my mum and sister. Apparently they try to defend me but he turns aggressive and starts shouting and swearing at them. My mum never tells me any of this, always my sister.

Today I went to visit my family with my baby and eldest who's a toddler. Unfortunately my mum and dad are still technically married and still live in the same house so he's always around when I visit. Well he made no effort with my newborn apart from a wave and a see you later. Because he's made it very clear he doesn't like newborn's because he doesn't know what to do with them, prefers them when they're my toddlers age and can do stuff apparently. When my newborn was born,he never messaged asking how we were or congratulating us or anything. And when I went to visit with him for the first time, apparently he said he wasn't excited to meet his new grandchild.

Anyway today he wasn't bothered with my toddler too much, even though my toddler loves him and finds him funny. God knows why, but I take the moral high ground and don't slag him off in front of my children because I want them to make their own minds up about their grandad and not force my opinions on them. Anyway back to the story. Like I say, he doesn't bother much with my toddler, or me for that matter and I've just had my sister text and tell me that my delightful dad had said he couldn't be bothered with my toddler today and when asked why he said because my toddler is 'a pain in the arse'

I am so so angry with this comment, that is my child he is talking about. I really want to say something to him about it to defend my child but don't want my sister to get the brunt of his aggression because she's obviously told me something he's said whilst I've not been there. I just don't know what to do.

It makes me so sad that my dad cannot be happy for me or supportive in anyway shape or form. I feel sad that is don't have that wonderful father daughter relationship that some have because mine is an absolute dick. I'm really jealous of people who do have a good relationship with their dad :(

But yeah, I guess I just wanted to vent, sorry 😔

in our community

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

Feeding

My son is coming up to five months and I just started giving him oatmeal and rice cereal. When can you start trying veggies or fruits? I only give him the oatmeal or rice cereal once a day right now which is what the paediatrician had said to do. I’m just curious to when anybody tried anything else with their kids cause my son eats a lot of formula and he’s VERY curious when I eat.

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Shift worker daddies - advice please?

My husband works shifts (6am-6pm days or 6pm-6am nights) so when he’s on shift we either get about an hour or 2 before he goes to work or an hour or 2 when we gets home with him.

I don’t think people who aren’t married/have babies with shift workers fully understand the impact of feeling like a solo parent sometimes.

Does anyone have any advice? I do have parents who can help but I struggle to leave my baby with others as I always feel like they don’t understand the need for tracking wake windows or feeds and our baby will not sleep unless we black out a room or go for a car drive . Everyone seems to think ‘if he’s tired he’ll drop off’ - no he’ll just get overtired and have to then pay for it during his night sleep. So I feel like it’s just easier for me to do it all myself.

When my husbands off work he is great but I do take the mental load of telling him what to do or even reminding him of wake windows etc because he’s not here and forgets routines. He’s also being tested for ADHD currently so there’s that on top of shift work.

Just looking for advice on how to stay sane/keep routines or share loads with shifts workers?

Thank you ❤️