Clueless partners
Is anybody else’s partner just absolutely clueless in terms of what the baby wants/needs/can’t settle them/the routine?
Honestly feel like I’m talking to a brick the majority of the time.
Baby is 7 weeks old, he is formula fed and has been waking twice a night for the last 4 weeks or so. Last night we agreed that I’d do the first feed at 1ish and then I’d go sleep in the spare room and my partner would do the 4ish feed (usually we do the feeds the other way around during the week so partner gets a semi decent sleep in the spare room for half the night before work).
I said at 4ish baby usually only has 3 or 4 oz and I feed him in bed and pop some white noise on towards end of bottle and he goes off to sleep no issues and sleeps for another 2-3 hours.
So I come downstairs this morning at 8.30 to see how it went.. partner said baby woke up at 4.45 so he made him his bottle and thought because it was 5am he might aswell come downstairs with him?! Turned the TV on in the lounge, gave him his bottle and he wouldn’t settle.
So they’ve both essentially been awake since 4.45 so now we have an overtired baby and partner is a foul mood because baby has been ‘annoying’ and not settling!!
He just made this so difficult for himself, I try to ask what his thought pattern was and I just get snapped back at. I said to him ‘when have I ever brought the baby down at 5am?!’ We always come down between 7 and 8am - you know, after a full night sleep!! 🤦🏼♀️
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It’s a journey for you both, and he will learn to listen if this is what he deals with. Don’t get too annoyed it’s tough enough as it is xx
I try not to, but I feel like I can’t leave him with the baby without him getting completely flustered and not being able to cope. I try to gently say what needs doing or give him pointers but I swear he just ignores me on purpose.. which then backfires and he just ends up making the whole situation worse for home self 🙈
Perhaps try having a discussion when he isn’t already worked up. Not about the babies routine but perhaps what he is struggling with in general? I would sit down and have a heart to heart and try and get cards on the table. It seems like you are both in a bit of battle of wills so pressing the reset button on that might help. Have a good heart to heart about baby / parenthood / your relationship and see if you can get through that way? Once the air is cleared there may be more respect for the advice you are providing xxx
So I always do the daytime feeds and he will do the night feed if she wakes up (she sleeps through most the time) but when she wakes up for a bottle he tries to re settle her when it’s obvious she is crying for a bottle his excuse is well she’s falling back asleep but we have this every night she will seem like she’s falling back asleep but she just screams because she’s hungry. It’s like he doesn’t want me to tell him what she wants but then like you we end up with a very tired hungry baby and he doesn’t half get in a mood when he feeds her the bottle because he knows I’m right and then he’s miserable all day because ‘the baby wasn’t settling’ well yes that’s because you should know her by now and you left her without bottle to long so then she’s awake for hours 🙄just felt like I needed that rant 😂
glad I’m not the only one with a partner who doesn’t listen!! 🙈😂
Do whatever works best, trial and error.
We’ve stayed in the same room, only one wake up in the night, he gets the bottle and I do the nappy. I feed and he burps.
We’re both up at the same time that way and we go back to sleep together again. I do the 5/6am one as he’s up for work at that time so again, he gets the bottle and I do the nappy/feed and burp.
Try discussing what cry means what, work it out together and you’ll both know then.
Dads either panic or are too relaxed I’ve learnt in 6 weeks 😂
Don’t argue, it’s not a strain on your relationship, only a test a day ❤️
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