Getting angry at my baby at night

When he wakes take a deep breath, I know it’s so hard when you’re the one doing everything and doing all the wakings (I am also only the one who wakes to feed etc as I exclusively breastfeed, partner wakes on weekends for moral support but normally is just say there🤣) just remember, THEY’RE having a hard time they’re not deliberately trying to give US a hard time 🤍 have you tried things such as white noise etc to try and help settle ? X

Why can’t your husband help? Even if you’re BF, he can absolutely help by waking with you, getting you a drink and giving you moral support through this horrible stage. And yes, even if he works - you’re both in this together. It’s really important you’re not alone in this. And not to scare you, only to emphasise why support is essential here and that you’re justified in needing it - babies get shaken in moments of rage. I’ve felt this feeling, and it has got much better as I’ve got used to parenting and worked on myself - you could say they’ve broken me in now 😂 and I’m working on seeing all our emotions as being nothing to do with anyone else. I’m not responsible for their emotions, just as they aren’t for mine. They’re not making me angry, I am angry because I’m exhausted and being needed is hard. I’m a good mum having a hard time. That helps to keep them from being the target of rage - you’re upset with the situation, not them.

Sarah said it all! You are only human and it is normal to feel frustrated and exhausted in a situation like this. Developing mechanisms for emotional regulation is much easier with support, as little as having someone to watch the baby for 5 min so you can step into another room and take some deep breaths. We mums tend to drive ourselves insane before we ask for help. If you can, ask for help! Especially from your partner.

Have you thought about speaking to the GP or HV? It sounds like you could have postnatal depression. Not to scare you but it's important you get the help you need x

I still lose my cool and swear a bit with my dude here and there, but what’s helped me is what Sarah said. They’re just trying to communicate and are struggling as well. So I take deep breaths and try to speak calmly to him, letting him know I’m here. The pampers sleep coach app has helped my dude only wake once a night on average and really changed the game for us. I also am reading books about anger management and trying to be overall more collected and calm. Try meditation and remember that baby is fine to scream for a minute if you need to walk away and take a few minutes to cool down.