fed up need to rant sorry

my whole pregnancy my ex partner was so rude and disrespectful tried to force me into an abortion every moment. He saw the baby moving on the screen and still said abort it. The month before when I had a miscarriage he said “get it flushed”. Then when I gave birth he complained all day how long I was said he’d rather be doing anything else even the midwife said he was out of order for how he was. He was hardly around the 13 months we were together with our child. He threatens me at any opportunity but only when I’ve no proof. He SA me and blamed me!! I’ve asked politely if he wanted our child no over night stay as I cannot trust him but he says that’s not my decision. I don’t trust him with our child, but now months later after our break up and he’s got a new girlfriend he’s messaging me I want to see our child can I come see him im coming to pick him up. Whenever I try to make arrangements he agrees and then says it’s bullshit he didn’t agree. But I just have a bad instinct and can’t bring myself to hand over our child. He doesn’t have a bond. I’m scared. I feel if I go to court he’ll get exactly what I don’t want him to have 😣 he doesn’t pay child support because he can’t afford it even though he gets way more than he told me while we were together. I’m scared, and I know I shouldn’t but I have a horrible feeling.

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don’t let the child overnight, follow your instinct. if you end up going to court you have the SA claim on your side and if any other abuse happened. If the child is still a baby or very young all they need right now is you, they will not lose out on anything by not seeing someone who didn’t even want them in the first place. when they are older, fair enough that’s different the child will have more of a choice. but right now he sounds inconsistent, abusive and weird which isn’t beneficial to any child. if i were you i would get advice from a family centre or a support worker of some sort from a DA organisation. x

I don’t feel comfortable over night but my sons over 18 months and he kicked us out around 13 months so I feel the court would say he’s old enough to have a bond. But they don’t 😣 and as my ex partner said you don’t have any proof to the abuse 😔 I did say I would be more comfortable with over nights when he’s older but apparently it’s not my decision to stop him going over night 😭 honestly when I say my child is so much happier since it’s just been us, I thought when we left he’d be abit off or something but he hasn’t x

you could use that to testify! you know your sons behaviours and emotions and you know he thrives more when he sees him less. that’s only if it ever did make it to court, by the sounds of the BD, he’s only interested in trying to make himself look good for the new GF and he probably wouldn’t even bother with the fight. for now try and set firm boundaries, the son lives with you and you are his full time carer and the Dad has to like it or lump it especially if he hasn’t treated you well. As long as he still sees the son somewhat, he’s getting the time with him. If he doesn’t have a bond by now with him it must be for a reason x

Thank you for listening and replying. I’m not sleeping from all the stress! I keep putting myself in my sons shoes and getting anxiety 😒 I don’t want to come across as I’m being unfair but I’m putting him first and he’s never been away from me so that also terrifies me

Listen to your gut mama…he sounds like scum and only sees his son as an item. Probably new girlfriend wanted to see him..I don’t trust him at all. Go to the courts…

I’m saving up to go to court! I’m doing my best. I have explained to him that I don’t trust him, and this never was changed since we were together. It was gay to do little things like his bum apparently! I just don’t trust him alone, I’m thinking of asking for a contact centre so he can try and build a bond without me but I know he’s safe? Cos I just can’t hand him over and I’m being slated to high heavens

I’m scared the judge will say we can’t go off just a bad feeling and ignores the proof I have 😒 I know my child does need both parents but if I can’t trust him I just can’t do it

in our community

Diamonds

So I saw a post on another platform where someone was wondering why anyone would buy natural diamonds anymore since they have lab dimonds now and I commented

"I told my husband I want dinosaur poop diamonds not dog poop dimonds. lab dimonds could be made from anything natural dimonds are made from life on our planet billions of years ago and that to me makes them beautiful.
but there are businesses where you can send ashes of your loved ones and they will make you dimonds out of there ashes so I will be doing that with my 1st dog when he passes. my husband and I have also already decided that when we die he is going to be turned into dimonds and made into bracelets and im going to be turned into necklaces for our children. so they can always hold us close to them rather than just sitting in a jar or in the ground. might as well speed up the process. 😋
In my opinion the dimonds that you are able to choose what they are made out of are more special and valuable rather than dimonds that are most likely made of trash or rotting food."

What are your thoughts and preferences?

A gift for my son 4 years in the making, 14 years to go

I started this avocado tree from a seed the week my oldest was due with the idea of gifting it to him as a birthday gift for his 18th birthday. So when he’s old enough to move out he has a mature tree that hopefully can fruit.

I’ve had it in a bottle with water and fish tank water as fertilizer from the beginning and it’s still growing new length, branches, and leaves every year.

I cannot wait to give it to him when he’s older but I’m so attached to it I’ll be sad to see it go 😂

Vitamin D

Are you all giving vitamin D for EBF babies? My little boy is 2 months old and only now I started giving it to him but I feel guilty as I was told to start at 1 month

Macroni and sausage

Jollof macaroni from nma’sKitchen

Friendships after having a baby…

I only have a few friends who have known me a few years before i became a mum and i feel like they will never understand me until they become mums. They have their own lives where they have fun, spend time with friends, go dinners, museums etc and i’m never considering or included in any of these. They will come visit us and they’ll barely make conversations with me anymore. I feel like im completely invisible as a person and im now only seen as my baby’s mum. Which of course i am and i love it that im her mum but theres also a person behind that title that is being forgotten and i dont know how to feel about it.

My closest friend has been ignoring me, replying late to my messages and its just bringing up so much resentment. She is a busy person but im also a person who has feelings and again i feel like im not being thought of.

Can anyone offer any advice or tell me about your similar experiences and what happened to your friendships in the end? I really dont want to lose my friends as i always hold them dear and near to my heart but it’s upsetting me more and more over time…

Relationships

What should you do almost 3 yrs in a relationship. And have a almost 4 month old baby together we are not happy anymore with each other. I ask him why stay he said he hope things work out. But it hurts me more. I dont want to seems im staying for our son. I just dont know if I can do this anymore.