Possible PND

I feel like I’m struggling mentally more now than I was in the first few weeks. In the first few weeks of motherhood I struggled massively with anxiety, a lot of crying and feeling very low- I was very emotional, feeling like I wasn’t good enough, thinking my partner and baby would be better without me. At the time I thought it was a bit of PND, but I would now describe as the baby blues because after about 3/4 weeks it slowly started to ease and I started to feel more confident and every day was a bit easier. My little girl is now 11 weeks, and the last couple of weeks I’ve started to struggle again, but it feels different this time. I just feel so low all the time. I love my little girl so much, but I’m struggling to accept my new life. I feel like I’ve totally lost my identity. My partner keeps trying to encourage me to go out and do things that will help me get the old me back, but I don’t know if I will ever be the old me again and every time I try something I get frustrated because it’s not the same, I can’t relax and enjoy it the same? Plus I have no motivation or desire to do anything I used to do or meet people. I just feel so flat. I feel like I’m living every day on autopilot with my baby- I am happy and enthusiastic for her, but deep down I just feel numb. My daughter is an absolute angel, so I feel like I really can’t complain because she is absolutely no bother at all, it’s all in my head! Has anyone else experienced feelings like this creeping in later in their postpartum journey? Does anyone have any advice on how to try and combat this feeling?
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Hey Bethan, I had this with my first. It’s a horrible feeling and it’s incredibly lonely- I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through it. In the end, the only thing that helped me was medication- my hormones and my brain chemistry just changed after having my son and no amount of fresh air and seeing people was going to help. I wasn’t breastfeeding so I took citalopram but I’ve had breastfeeding friends who tried sertraline and it helped. It’s not forever and it will get better - although I know right now it feels completely horrible .x

Hey, I have really struggled with both newborn phases of my babies. My second is 13 weeks now and I have been hit sooo hard this time with not only adjusting to a new life again but with PND/anxiety. I was ok the first few weeks but from about 4 weeks I was a mess. I started sertraline and I think I am coming out the other side now. I also felt like I had no motivation and it was extremely hard to play with my older child, my house felt different and I was telling myself I was incapable of the most basic things. I am still struggling but not to the extent of a few weeks ago. Talk to your doctor and those around you for support ❤️

Also I agree with bahar, no amount of “getting out the house” was helping, or talking to people, or having a nice bloody bath! My brain was also just not right and needed the medication to help me get better. Breastfeeding too! Xx

I feel exactly the same ! Struggled the first couple of weeks and then felt better but recently jsut feel so weird…. I can’t connect who I was before having a baby to who I am now and everything I do tbag used to do before having a baby makes me feel so strange and weird x

I feel the same as you lovely, just feeling numb in my own little bubble, i have no desire to do anything i used to enjoy or even when i do i dont enjoy it anymore 😅 Hope you get the help you need and feel better soon x

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