Male nursery staff member - am I crazy to be worried about this?

That's a sh*t way of thinking if I'm honest. I worked in a nursery up until 2 years ago and we had 2 males working and a few male bank staff to cover ect. It all was normal. Tbh as an employee they shouldn't be doing nappies or toilet duties alone anyway to cover their backs should always have a 2nd person to overlook that's what we did in our nursery.

WOW. You know kids have dads… that are MALE. This is so unfair of you, if I was the nursery leader I wouldn’t want you attending if that’s how you would feel about one of the members of staff just because they’re male.

Why can’t guys love and enjoy educating small children? What makes woman superior in that role? What just because we can birth them… Absolutely not - ANYONE can do bad things to kids, woman just as much as men. It is absolutely not a safeguarding issue.

this is extremely sexiest and a small minded way of thinking to be honest with you, what about in 2 years when your child attends school will you have this attitude if her reception teacher is a male? i am sure the nursery hasn’t just hired any random off the street, he would have to be qualified and had an enhanced DBS check due to safeguarding no matter if a staff member is male or female there is a log when it comes to toilet/nappy changes and no staff no matter the gender is left unattended with a child

I don't say this often, but you sound so judgemental. You just saw him and already thought he might be a creep without any evidence. It's a shame because people like you are preventing men who are great with children entering jobs like nursery teacher. Also look up Lucy Letby, neonatal nurse who killed and injured several babies. A woman. Seriously think you need to calm down.

I would delete this post lol as I don’t think you’re gonna get the replies you were hoping for. Some men are actually more patient/gentle with kids, this man has obvious qualifications to be in a nursery or around small kids or he wouldn’t be hired. Unfortunately you can’t really take your child away from a man teacher in life wether that’s nursery, school or even college

Where my son goes there is a man teacher and he is very kind, and my son has a good relationship with him. I don’t feel scared of sending my son there. Not every man is a bad person.

At what age will you be comfortable with your child interacting with men?

My son's teacher in reception was a man and he is the most caring wonderful teacher I have ever met. In my experience if a man wants to work with children he is super kind and he is just great with the kids.

Totally understand where you are coming from as I would have the same concerns.

I completely understand and I would also feel like that. Doesn't mean men would be bad at this job, doesn't mean women can't hurt children. It's just a feeling of wanting to protect your little one, and the world is very f*** these days. I had to work once in a completely unrelated job with a pedophile, found out by accident, reported him to the police and he spent several years in prison (free now, believe it or not). No one would have said about him that he wasn't a lovely guy. Ever since, it's an absolute no for me, specially when they're so little, maybe when they're a bit older and can express themselves is a bit different. But nursery? Absolutely fucking not. Don't be ashamed for feeling like that, we're just mums doing our best 🖤

@Alex i honestly feel sorry for your child if this is your opinion, you cannot pick and choose who is apart of educating your child especially once they start primary/secondary school the percentage of male teachers is higher. u cannot base your opinion off another scenario its just so weird of you

@Kya really don't care about your opinion, we all do what's best for our child and your judgment is irrelevant. Just wanted to let OP know she's not alone and that these concerns are valid (still good 85% men pedophiles vs 15% women). These days you really can't say what you really think without a bunch of people telling you you're wrong. Like I said, nursery, absolutely fucking not. You take care of yours however you like. Peace ✌️

@Alex everyone goes through a check if someone would like to work with children. Please don't judge the male teachers. They can be very good.

@Alex regardless of if you care for my opinion or not as a qualified educator i’m informing you that having these small minded prejudices on male individuals who may choose to look after your children is insane you cannot control who works in that environment. since your opinion is so strong how about you dig deep in your pockets and hire a private nanny or childminder to care for your child as i have said and said again anyone who is hired regardless of the setting will have to undergo an enhanced dbs so i don’t see the issue

Wow what a divisive post!

DBS checks only show past criminal convictions, they are by no means a guarantee of the person being good. Men are more likely statistically to be sexual predators so it is not ‘insane’ to worry about that. It is unfair to the male nursery staff to have these prejudices, absolutely.

It’s not insane. That’s why we have to teach our children to not let anyone to touch their private parts and to speak up if someone touches his private parts or tells him a bad secret. I bought a book for my son when he was 3 and he knows he can’t touch other peoples private parts and he can’t let others to touch him. And also that he can leave a room if he doesn’t feel confortable.

So what about when your child goes to actual school? I had plenty of male teachers in my primary school and secondary school.. you can’t pick who’s going to be his teacher then otherwise you would be changing schools A LOT.

I think these comments are very harsh! It's not the norm to have males in these types of roles and if she feels uncomfortable that's up to her. She is talking about nursery because of the level of care (nappies etc) required. None of that happens at school, therefore those comments are irrelevant. When looking for nurseries I found it strange there were males too, it is a very female dominated career.

School teachers are not involved in personal care such as nappy changes and would not be taking clothes off the students as far as I know! It’s a different situation.

I've worked in lots of nurseries and wish there were more men working in them as it's important for children to have a male role model especially boys and children who might not have an adult male at home, when I was training there were males on the course and they were great with the children better than some of us women. As for the DBS most places now require to be on the update service which means that the DBS is constantly updated.

I used to be a bit suspicious of male nursery practitioners until I became one and we had a man that worked there. The children loved him! He did a better job than a lot of the women, he was very attentive and playful. He wouldn’t do nappy changes though. There’s been a lot of cases of women abusing the children in their care so I wouldn’t judge him based on his gender.

In reception there are still cases when not all the children are toilet trained or accidents happening. Also when the children play with water when they get wet the teachers help the children to change their clothes. In my son's class there was a man teacher who was brilliant and none of us had concern against him.

i don’t know why women need to reply so harshly, would anyone else like their concerns regarding their child’s safety to ever be completely invalidated just because someone else doesn’t agree with them? god damn, get a grip and try to spread kindness wherever possible. your concerns are completely valid love, unfortunately we live in a world now where people are very likely to think these thoughts about men that aren’t familiar to them around their children. i am cautious about the men in my FAMILY for goodness sake, so i can’t imagine what it’s like when you’ve noticed an unfamiliar man in your children’s place of care. as you have opted for childcare in a nursery setting, you have to accept that both male and females can be employed, and try not to assume the worst, although it’s easier said than done. at the private nursery i worked in, there was only 4 male workers, all 4 didn’t enjoy their jobs, and one of them was initially under investigation and was actually one of the-

many reasons i left the job. he was always extremely rough and careless with the children (i worked with 1-2 year olds) and overall was just an awful man, he even lied to parents about their children’s development. absolute filth. so i can’t reassure you that if anyone whether male or female is working with children that they would’ve undergone vigorous checks like they should be, i guess it depends on how up to standards you think your childcare place is. i know not everyone that home education isn’t for everyone, but as someone that has worked in the childcare and education system with multiple ages, i will never give my children over to the system. sorry that this wasn’t the reassurance you were probably looking for.

Interesting post, made me think 🤔 I think it's about looking into the reason for your concern. I ask the following with curiosity: is there a sense that all men are untrustworthy with children? And if so, where does this come from and why do you not think the same of the women? I ask as it may relate to your own experience growing up or things you know happened to others, or things you were told about men and women which turn to assumptions about all of them- which is something we all do and sometimes we can put these experiences onto others. Both men and women can abuse or be wonderful carers, it's about what we feel comfortable with but also what we interpret of situations.