Husband constantly saying baby and I are too attached
Show your support
Are there any men in his life he respects that you could go to and ask for them to mediate/talk to him? Might help for him to hear from men who’ve felt similarly and to understand this really is normal and that nothing is wrong with him as a dad for baby being dependent on you at this point.
If you have other new parents and couple friends it’s important to meet n join support groups if possible this helps a lot!
Well by the sounds of it to me it might be healthy for you and baby for even if you go back to work part time? A day or two a week that you get some money and bubs finds some independence? As for separate bank accounts how long have you been together, are you married, everyone does things differently I guess. I’ve been with hubby for 10 years so we share everything in one account and then still have our own fun/frivolous accounts on the side that we both take a couple hundred here and there from joint account each.
With baby, he should really make an effort.. First time mum here, my husband works 12 hours shift. Still he helps with the baby when he's home, we both feed the baby, change his nappy n clothes, he plays with him regularly. He really enjoys when he's dad is home... He keeps smiling n laugh. Even my husband is tired from work soon after he has dinner he even says to me you go n rest for an hour or two n I'll keep the baby. I feel Baby sense the effort the other person is putting in.. Of course is natural for baby to be attached to their mother, cuz we are spending maximum time with them. I am in two minded going back to work.. I work from home most days... My baby is 6 months so I have another 6 months still.
I think you might be mixing a number of topics that are not necessarily connected. Attachment (too much/too little) is something none of us can judge without knowing reality. Babies do need mum a lot but some mums and babies are too attached. We all know a couple of examples. Only you will know the reality. Re. him bonding - I can see why he is upset if the current dynamics does not allow him to do simple tasks like putting baby down. I would actually be glad he cares to be involved. Finally, you going back to work or not is a fundamental decision that should be discussed as a couple. You might not feel like going back, he might not feel like being the sole earner. It’s a fundamental decision for the family dynamics. I used the word earner for lack of a better one but I don’t think this is about money at all. First and foremost it’s about what kind of family you’d like to have and it seems you are not on the same page on the topic.
Are you breastfeeding? My other half was like this but I persisted it’s what I wanted and knew was best. Your baby might not even take a bottle yet so he wouldn’t be able to do it anyway. Once the kids older she’ll be all over him anyway just got to stick to your guns for this bit. As for the being married and not having joint accounts, that is a little weird and something that should of been discussed in detail before having children as you seem to have different opinions on money and how to split it. Honestly you should keep your independence, get a weekend or part time when you run out of money as it sounds like your man isn’t going to provide for you things you want. Defo sit down and have a chat though about how you’re feeling x
Sounds like he may be suffering from some mental health issues he may need support with Sounds like he's worried that because you are so.attached baby doesn't love him Perhaps he needs some support with this.and.the.other.issues.will.calm.down
That’s your baby! Fuck em
Maybe there is a compromise snd you could put babe in care one day a week? Could give you some time for some self care and gives babe an opportunity to try to be away from you? Could even be an afternoon or morning instead.
I would suggest him to grow up and educate himself over babies needs and attachment theory. It's actually very healthy and separation with mom is a very slow process. He sounds possessive and jealous. He can't settle her for sleeping...what's the problem? There's sooooo many other ways to bond with a baby. It's his responsibility to find out how to be more with you and your daughter. Also, if he has money enough to support his family but don't want you to stay with your baby its clearly because he doesn't want you to bond with your daughter. That guy needs therapy I m EBF and my baby is very attacjed to me. My partner is very happy I m staying with our baby and he would be happy if I decide to stay with him longer. He find his own way to bond with our baby and our baby loves him a lot and is very happy with him. Your man seems very insecure. I m sorry you have to deal with that. There's no such a thing as a baby TOO attached to his mother.
-fa
100% nothing wrong with your baby needing you and wanting you. Like you said, just shows secure attachment is formed. Also, nothing wrong with not wanting to go back to work and to want to prioritize your child! I personally think it’s unhealthy to have separate bank accounts because it creates this dynamic of keeping record of who owes what and just makes way too much room for resentment instead of unity. What’s mine is his and what’s his is mine is our mentality. Doesn’t matter who makes more we both contribute equally in many different ways, money is just one aspect of that. It sounds like he may be a little jealous/hurt that the baby doesn’t want him as much as you but he also has to understand that’s normal for this age and things will change. He should continue trying to bond and supporting you should be his number one focus!