Hating Maternity leave
Am I wrong for hating being on maternity leave as a ftm? I am a single first time mum to my 4 month old girl. doing it all by myself. Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t change it but it isn’t easy, my life and I’m sure every mum has that massive change that happens. But am I so fed up of it, socially, mentally trying to look happy but I am not happy. I’ve quite frankly had enough. I didn’t plan to be a single mum far far from it, but unfortunately some things are out of your hands and it is just the way it goes. I travelled alot when I didn’t have my girl 4/5 times a year, my life was VERY easy and it has just completely changed and will never get it back. I need a social life and work was ALWAYS my social life, I do not have that it has all taken away from me.im drained mentally and would just like to know I ain’t the only one.
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Im sorry you’re having a tough time right now. I’m not sure where you’re from, but where I live 4 months off is pretty standard. Which I think is a bit cruel as I personally think the first 4-8 months are the hardest. I worked as a nanny before becoming a mom and the first few months are rough. It becomes so much more fun over time.
I also think it is sooo important for us as new moms to connect with other moms. Are there new mom groups near you? Parenting groups? Mommy and me classes? Parenting alongside other parents has been really helpful for me.
im from the uk so we have 9 months, you are right I get that so much, that’s where I’m lacking.. I haven’t been to any baby groups as I feel I can’t as my social anxiety is bad. I know everything comes better in time ❤️
Aw I’m sorry. That’s tough. I think most of us feel awkward at those groups at first. It might really help you like it did me. I’m not very good at small talk but just the social interaction with other moms in the same phase helps me a lot. You got this, it’s tough for us all!
I couldn’t say it better myself and to hear this really makes me feel I relate. Thankyou for opening honestly xx
thankyou so much this is so kind of you and really means a lot. X
Don’t feel it’s taken from you. From my experience, I was asked to travel twice to 3x as much after I came back from maternity leave, and it was super stressful to me, but I’ve adapted (in opposition to your feelings, not wanting to leave baby). Meeting a few local friends from this app helped a ton, as well as getting outside with baby and making small trips with him to get back into the swing of normal life. I pretty much drag him wherever I go (gathering wood for our hot water furnace, store runs, appointments, park dates, etc.). That helped me feel like I wasn’t trapped in my home and got us both some vitamin d and a change of scenery. It can get rather monotonous in the beginning, since they’re kinda like a pet rock that can’t communicate. Just know it gets better and you can make your life whatever you want❤️
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