Opinions wanted

Honestly, if he’s proven he is unreliable, I would break up with him, not put him on the birth certificate, put my name as the last name and call it a day. If he wants to contribute, he can stay with you during the newborn phase and prove he is serious.
A name can be added to the birth certificate later. So, if he proves to be reliable, you can add him later

1. You are so strong to be going through this. But I think it's best to see how you feel. You can tell him you aren't interested in a relationship right now & would like to see him as a father. He sounds genuine and sweet, it's a really tough spot to be in for him & you. So I guess don't go rushing into or out of things, it's a possibility! You guys had a connection clearly lol❤️ but don't harp on it. Don't think too hard, make it known you just want to make sure he will be a good father at this point because you don't really know him, he doesn't really know you. & If he wants to make effort, he will.

2. Yes, he is the father & he should be able to be with his child especially if he's a good hardworking man. He may not understand child payment now but you can sort all this out with him & through your government I believe (US we would contact welfare to help us with child support payments & he will have to pay you for having your child mainly. I would give him a chance to show himself as a dad.

I also got pregnant very soon after meeting my partner, although our outcomes are different, I do relate to a number of things said and felt.

1. I'd keep the relationship between you both and how you both relate to and for the baby separate.
If your feelings aren't there, they aren't there but you are likely to continue spending time together. That means you should be able to remain amicable and that investment in each other, even platonically, may or may now open up new emotions. No outcome is wrong, if you're together for how you feel about each other.
2. Personally, if there's not a reason to deny him parental responsibility, I'd put him on the birth certificate. The certificate is the child's, it should have both parents.
3. Surname is whatever you decide and want it to be. Only you can decide what feels right in that regard, is it easier for them to have your name as they are with you more? Is it a personal belief/tradition that it should be the father's name? Is hyphenated the best of both?

4. I think its understandable to be sensitive, its a very complex situation for everyone involved. Mix in the emotions, hormones and massive life change and there's really no other way to feel!
He will likely be feeling a lot of things and not necessarily able to navigate it all perfectly himself, even if he was more invested in supporting earlier on.
5. Try and take your time, your focus will be on baby when they arrive regardless of all the extra factors.
Allow opportunities for him to be involved, follow your heart and gut on what chances and decisions to take 💗

I met my partner on April 3, 2021. I found out I was pregnant on April 28, 2021. Lots of big life changes, the relationship was new, we hardly knew each other. It was tough at first and there were so many emotions and changes to navigate. I stuck with him even through the really hard crap. We’ve been together almost 3 years now and I’m almost 17 weeks pregnant with our second boy.

1. Try to make it work. A lot of guys just don’t think that going to these scans and things are so important to us. Mine didn’t come to a lot of my scans with our first. He came to one of the first ones and the anatomy scan where we found out the gender together. Once the baby was born, boy did he step up. He is a pain in the butt sometimes, but he is a great dad and a wonderful partner. I’m glad I stuck it out.
2. 100% put him on the certificate especially if he says that he wants to be involved. He is the baby’s father after all.

3. I gave my son his father’s last name and now that we are engaged, I will give this baby his last name as well. That part is really up to you, but I would at least hyphenate the last names. The only reason that I didn’t is because we had discussed getting married before our son was born and I wanted us all to have the same last name. Then if he does disappear, just change her last name and put him on child support payments (if that’s what you want to do).

4. I felt the same way too for a long time. I’m not sure what it is, but men seem to really become involved or excited when baby is here instead of from the get go. Even if you are a little sensitive about it, that’s okay! Again, your relationship is relatively new and now you guys are navigating so much on top of being hormonal.

5. I think it’s worth giving it a try. Not just for the baby, but for you both too. I think we had a similar experience and I hope that it works out for you guys too!

1. agree to supervised visits with the baby when it’s born and see how he does
2. Yes put him on the birth certificate if he’s the father. If he bails, it will be easier to get child support payments down the road if needed.
3. Hyphenated surname makes sense if only because if he bails it will make it easier for the kid to track him down later if they want.
4. Your feelings are valid. Don’t rely on him to change but it’s okay to see how things go.
5. I think you should be prepared to sue over custody and child payments. The guy is obviously not reliable and if you feel he can’t be trusted to watch the kid unsupervised you need to be legally prepared to only allow supervised visits. Since you don’t live together that’s all the more reason to get things in writing.

I think you should give him a chance, becoming a parent is a daunting idea, especially when it isn't planned or expected yet. He clearly cares but is probably unsure of what's going to happen. Me and my partner have been together 7 years but he'd never changed a nappy, held a baby or anything, yet the second our son was in our arms he was a natural. They are best friends now and my partner is an amazing dad.

Definitely put him on the birth certificate, it's his right as much as yours. He's also part of your child's ancestry should they ever want to investigate that as they get older.

1. If you have any doubt that he would leave and or not be there for you and the baby then don't put in time especially if he's not willing to put 100% into being a good babydaddy/Boyfriend
2. Do you want child support? If so then legal he has to be on the birth certificate
3. Use YOUR last name unless he's willing to step up!
4.No you're not being "over sensitive" This is the way you feel and nobody should tell you thats a bad or wrong way to feel!
5. Write down expectations that comes with you being in a relationship with him and Expectations that you have for him IF he will be in the child's life, Present it too him and if he doesn't agree with ALL of the expectations I'd leave him

I would never give my child someone else’s last name. I would say put this guy on the birth certificate but you and your baby should have the same last name. This is so important for legal reasons and so much more. I just think it’s crazy that you had to carry your baby for 9 months and then birth them and be the main feeder and you wouldn’t share their last name.

This all sounds like a new relationship and a guy that really wasn’t ready to be a dad but is a good person so is trying to make it work. Hopefully the baby actually being born will snap him a little more into dad mode.

Maybe don’t push the autistic thing 🤣 I can definitely see that backfiring… funny as hell tho…

1. Don’t make it work for the sake of the baby, do it because you want to. The baby just needs happy parents whether that’s together or separate
2. Yes he is the dad
3. Hyphenate
4. No you’re not. He’s probably struggling because it’s happened so quick but also men don’t bond with the baby before they’re here like we do. Even though my 8 week old is here my partner still plays football 3 times a week etc just make sure you’re getting you time too.
5. If you was prepared to do it alone before then you clearly dont ‘need’ him. Deffo get maintenance a payments set up regardless because he’s shown he wont get what is needed. I think see how things go once baby is here. My partner didn’t go to many of my appointments with me