I shout at my baby

Asalaam alaykum trust me sis you’re not alone. Give yourself some grace but I would definitely look into mental health programs like iop or therapy. You’d be surprised how many women deal with it. Learning how to deal with it will benefit her too. InshaAllah everything gets better🤲🏽

@Khadijah waaleikum Salam warahmatullah wabarakatu sis. Thank you. I'll look into therapy

My husband says Allah spoke to him in a dream and told him the parenting is a chance to treat (a version of) yourself (as a child) as you should have been treated. And to me, that really hit home. They are a small version of yourself. They will become an adult one day and everything you say to them or do with them will shape how they grow and deal with things in this big scary world.

Oh no poor thing. Well it's not too late now, make huge changes learn to speak to her with love and patience. She's a baby. Your job is to protect her mental health not make it like yours. Now that you've recognised it you need to take all the steps to ensure she loves being around you. If she drops something it's OK. If she cries it's OK. If she is fussy it's completely OK. If you react that's not OK so what are you going to do? Try and pay attention to your own reaction and feelings and be mindful about how you react. We are in control of our emotions ans how we react, depression or no depression so try and take the reign back in. Treat her how you would have wanted your parents to treat you as a baby and child etc. She's young but how you treat her now will have a massive impact on her development, personality and confidence as well as her mental.health. defo go to therapy, take a break once a day for yourself, and spend quality time with her to rebuild the bond. Improve on your communication with her.

We're you like.this before you had her? Any past mh issues?

It’s okay to leave the baby for a minute and go somewhere else to regulate sis. Take deep breaths, and say astaghfiruallh whenever you feel that need to shout. Also have a few obsessed you can say instead, as a go to when you feel overwhelmed. Something like “mummy is feeling very frustrated now, she needs to breathe” Or “my ears are hurting from all the noise, oh no” and try to say it in a very reassuring voice for yourself, as if someone is acknowledging your feelings and trying to comfort YOU. If it’s possible, try to turn the scenario into something funny and silly. Also use the sunnah method for dealing with anger: say A'udhu billahi min ash-shaytaan-ir-rajeem, drink water, sit down/lie down, splash your face/do wudu. Everyone has moments of not being able to regulate themselves, and those who never shout or never have any sort of emotional outbursts may have other issue they’re dealing with, or just suppress it to the point of sickness. Best to work on regulating yourself iA

@KB thank you for reminding me about this

@hannah thank you. True I need to control my emotions since she's just a baby and fully dependent on me. I'll go for therapy. Before the baby I was ok, once in a while I'd have outbursts of anger but went for therapy. Sometimes as a child I was shouted at or talked to in a harsh tone. Wouldn't want this for my child

@Sando thank you. These are really good tips that I completely forgot. Thank you for the reminder. I'll work on regulating myself, hopefully go for therapy in Sha Allah