Irrational for being upset I didn’t get a present from Dad?

I know I’m being irrational but I feel a bit upset that I haven’t exactly received a little token gift from my husband since having our baby. I’m aware of a “push present” but it was a long birth (failed induction after 4 days and subsequent c section) and was secretly hoping for a little gratitude something from him. I know it’s not a big deal but was hoping for even a mini present as a thank you and well done for everything I’ve been through (it’s been a bit of a difficult pregnancy too). Am I being dramatic or should I have expected something? 😕
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You've got your baby that's the biggest and best present you can ask for is it not?

My partner hadn't heard of a push present before. Nor had I until one of his aunties asked what I got for it. Maybe he also doesn't know?🤔

Men can't read minds. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I didn’t even know this was thing! I wouldn’t expect anything tbh x

I made it very clear I wanted a push present 😆 husband got one for me with my first (a ring) and I mentioned I wanted one for our 2nd. I sent him links! I know some people think this is ridiculous and unnecessary but personally I feel like I've really sacrificed my body and now in recovery from a difficult birth and he literally shot one in the back of the net and thats it! Husband will probably combine it with an anniversary gift next week and if he doesn't I will be beyond disappointed! I'd mention it to your husband and maybe just explain that a physical gift would really mean a lot to you to know he recognises what you've gone through. I know many will disagree with me but each to their own/own relationship.

Just to say of course I’m forever grateful my baby is here and safely! And my husband is incredibly supportive! I’m not silly and not a materialistic person but it’s honestly been so hard the last few months and I’ve hinted at wanting a memory/personalised token of our baby (her initial on a piece of jewellery or a lovely framed photo for our bedroom maybe?) but I slightly begrudge getting myself one. I know I sound irrational but I’m hormonal and tired and would love something to lift my spirits a bit x

Not ridiculous if that's what you were expecting. Sounds like gifts may be your love language here! However I hadn't heard of a push present and it is probably the case that he isn't aware of that expectation if it wasn't explicitly communicated. What I've determined post partum is that I am best explicitly asking for what I need (my partner does a twice daily check in because we talked about making me speak up if I try and stay quiet about how I'm feeling). Sounds like he will be supportive and happy to fulfil any need for you, however minor or seemingly ridiculous, if he's aware of it 💗

@Tam exactly this! It’s just an acknowledgment really. Nothing expensive or fancy but just something personal and meaningful. The whole pregnancy and birth has been so difficult x

Definitely not irrational. Just make it clear to him you want one. Depending on what your husband is like he probably is oblivious. I mentioned it a few times to my husband and even told him what I wanted as my "push present" so he got me it before our baby was born

I hope you can have an honest chat with him and explain how you feel. Hopefully he takes it onboard and organises something for you. You really do deserve it!! Big hugs x

Tell him what you want x

Push presents are definitely a US thing!

I thought they were a US thing. I hadn't heard of them until I joined peanut. Had you spoke about it before you gave birth or are you just silently expecting something? Most men aren't that sentimental and won't do anything unless asked, so just straight up tell him.

I think the best push presents (which is what this is) is hiring a cleaner, getting a Hellofresh subscription... things that make both of your lives easier. I would much rather husband recognise the tough pregnancy and birth by helping out more, letting me sleep longer, generally doing a bit more than his fair share around the house to help me recover. I would never expect an actual gift as a thank you. I don't think it would even occur to him, but we have a very unmateralistic marriage so other relationships will be different, with different expectations and values.

@Kelly exactly this! My partner's gift to me was doing my share of keeping the house in a reasonable state. He already did a fair amount before hand but he wouldn't let me lift a finger! Made sure I always had squash and snacks in reach, wouldn't leave the room without asking us what we needed, did the hosting when we had visitors when I could barely hold a conversation. I think what someone said above about love languages is accurate and learning each others is key. I know my partner is not a gifts person so I would never have expected one.

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