I recently gave birth to my second a week ago and have had some of the baby blues but am pushing through it. I have a 14 month old also. My partner used to go to the gym everyday during my pregnancy but said when baby was here he would stay home to help adjust to 2 under 2. I’m a week after giving birth now and my partner looks miserable and not going to the gym is making him aggressive and agitated with our son/cats (short temper more likely to shout at them). I told him yesterday to go to the gym which he did for an hour whilst our son was sleeping but really I’m abit disheartened as I’m only a week postpartum and haven’t fully recovered from 3rd degree tear and birth itself. My partner is great and he’s hands on but I find myself worrying about keeping him happy so he’s not agitated and aggressive with my son/cats. I’ve suggested that he go again today for his own mental health but I just feel let down that we’re only a week in and I’m here with a 1 week old and 14 month old by myself when he should be taking care of me kind of thing? Am I being selfish? Or unreasonable for thinking this way?
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Maybe suggest he go every other day? Or for 30 min instead of an hour. And maybe have him take care of the baby while you do something you want to do? Or have him go while you’re both taking a nap instead of just the baby. It’s important both of you take care of your mental and physical health.

I second what Nicole says in terms of making sure he gives you some you time. Your age gap is very close it's understandable you feel the way you do ... also I wonder do you feel you have a safe space to be vulnerable with your partner? Aggression tends to come out when a person has bottled up feelings. So I wonder what's under the anger, is it fear, sadness, stress. I wonder could he do a counselling session to help this maybe once a week from home. So then he's in a better place mentally to mind you all rather than just relying on the gym which isn't actually addressing his issues really. And he could continue the gym when you're in a better place recovery wise. It took me two months of adjustment period (actually all of us!) when baby number 2 arrived. Ideally you shouldn't have to be worried about managing his aggression but it's obviously an issue so I wonder if you had a chat about it to deal with it in a way that actually benefits you all. Xx

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