Partner staying at the John Radcliffe

I had a traumatic experience where I was assaulted on a ward by another patient after surgery a few years ago and am now very fearful of staying in hospital alone. I am due to have my first baby in May and I was wondering what other people’s experiences were of having partners be able to stay?

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They'll say that your partner can't stay past visiting hours (8/9pm) once baby is out. They also say they don't let partners stay overnight if baby's not arrived. However what happens could be very different, most folk I know had their partner stay overnight, this was at the JR. I was in labour Friday 8pm-735am Saturday so my partner was allowed to stay Saturday until 8pm and return on the Sunday morning. Tbh it was good that he got some sleep that night. Ultimately if your partner is nice and you explained your situation I suspect you can get them on your side to have him stay x

They don't usually but someone on my ward had their partner with them overnight so they may allow it for special cases. Its probably worth speaking to your midwife to add it to your notes as a request. Sorry to hear about your experience x

I was in labour for three days & my partner stayed the whole time (came home for shower and a couple hours sleep) my water-broke on the Wednesday & my son was born 01.16am Saturday morning but was home by 4pm that day

They did keep saying ‘you’ll be next to go down to the delivery suit) but then and emergency would always happen and we was pushed back

I think in special cases they allow partner to stay (I was in a private room) I wouldn’t of felt right my partner to stay on a ward full of women who didn’t have there partner

My husband was allowed to stay whilst i was in labour and until they moved me to the ward, which can take a while. If ur on the ward it's very unlikely they'll let them stay. Everyone on my ward was emotional and wanted their partners to stay but they wouldn't allow it at night. However I had to spend a second night and managed to convince them to give me a private room
My husband was then allowed to stay

I had twins the first time and was given a room where my husband could stay. The second time I had one baby (at 36 weeks so considered prem and I had to stay for 3 nights) so was on the ward and he couldn't stay (but was home with our twins anyway). If the birth is straightforward and baby is term then they aim to get you home quickly. But definitely talk it through with your midwife and get this in your notes

I’ve had 2 babies at the JR and my partner was not allowed to stay overnight. Nobodies partners were allowed to on my ward.
I personally wouldn’t like it if there was a strange man the other side of the curtain all night

Sorry you have had this experience. Definitely speak to your midwife, they are able to make exceptions in certain circumstances where someone is particularly vulnerable. They may put you in a private room if available where your partner will be able to stay. If you speak to someone you can have this all added to your notes so they know when you come in

My baby was born at 7:30pm and visiting hours end at 8pm I think but they let him stay til about 11pm then he had to go home x

You can pay for a private room, I think it was £200. They are subject to availability at the time though.

I gave birth there couple month ago at delivery suite but after we asked if we can go to spires where you have private rooms with double bed and partner can stay overnight. It’s worth asking x

Gave birth there in Oct 2023 at 23:35, premature, very painful and fast delivery. I was in total shock, husband was kicked out a few hours later and there was little to no support on the post natal ward. I don’t want to put the fear into you but I sat and sobbed until my husband could come again at 8am. It was a horrible experience. I have had birth reflections for a multitude of issues and the matron has said it was something they were looking to change imminently so maybe this has changed by now? I’m due 9th Jan and will be avoiding the JR like the plague! Not to say you won’t have a good experience like other posters have but mine was truly awful. Private rooms are £225 a night which I thought was ridiculous but apparently they go up to £450.

Official line is once in observation or level 5 ward visiting is 8am - 8pm & husbands have to leave. For reasons I won’t go in to I had to deliver at JR, but was terrified of being by myself. I was honest with my midwife and consultant and with plenty of time we wrote a risk assessment / birth preference. Level 7 is an option if they have staff (it’s often closed over night with minimal notice), they no longer have private / paying rooms. With second baby I got level 7 it’s was lovely, with third baby I was discharged before I had to go to level 5. If baby arrives close to 8, most midwives let partners stay beyond 8pm and most have enough compassion that if baby or your health is compromised partners stay - notice I say most. And this is why it’s important to discuss and have it officially recorded in your notes. X

I gave birth in the spires at JR and we had a private room after labour with a double bed & ensuite, i gave birth around 10pm and was discharged 1pm the next day and my partner was allowed to stay the night & didn’t leave my side the entire time we were there x

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I’ve been throwing up and taking a shit all night!!! I just hope that it’s not what I think it is

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I just wanted to share my experience with being induced as I wasn’t sure what to expect and thought it may help others.

I opted for the foley balloon which was inserted at 8am Saturday morning, I had to stay in hospital due to hypertension and protein urine however usually you can just go home once this has been done. The insertion of the balloon was not painful, was slightly uncomfortable as there was slight pressure. I actually found having the cervix checked prior to be worse (again not painful at this point just uncomfortable) The balloon had little effect and after having it removed I was still only 1cm. Removal also was pain free and hardly even noticeable.

I then had my first dose of the gel and definitely noticed a difference, I started experiencing period like cramps almost immediately however they were light and manageable. After 6 hours I had another cervix check and although my cervix was soft it was still only 1cm and was only open at the front. I had another dose of the gel and felt an increase in pressure and more intense cramping where I now required pain relief (codeine). After another 6 hours I had another cervix check and I had now dilated to 2-3cm however was still quite difficult to get all the way through so a third gel was recommended which I agreed to.

Almost immediately I noticed the difference and was in considerable pain, I had paracetamol and codeine however the contractions had now become intense and a lot closer together (around 3 minutes apart). After a couple of hours I had my last cervix check and was 4cm and taken down to the Labour ward to have my waters broken and an epidural.

I had been in my room for approx 20minutes when my waters broke by themselves and I was now 10cm and actively pushing…. There was no time for the epidural and my beautiful girl arrived into the world within 2 minutes of pushing.

All in all I would say the cramps/contractions were manageable up until the third gel where it became pretty unbearable however it was for a very short time a gas and air helped take the edge off. The worst part about any of it was actually the later cervix checks where after stimulating the cervix my contractions were at their most painful.

If I had to be induced again I would skip the balloon and opt for the gels immediately as thy had a quicker effect and I would have been out a lot sooner if I had done this to begin with.

One more thing, I’ve never believed when people say “you forget the pain once they’re here” but I can honestly say this is true. It’s been 4 days and I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

Anyone else experiencing this?

Gave birth (vagina) 5 days ago and yesterday morning and this morning getting lot of pain in my right bottom side and lower back