How do you approach chats with new people on here?

i usually don’t respond when people just say “hi” lol my experience is that they usually can’t hold a conversation

I can’t keep a convo going with people who text dry or put in no effort. So, sadly I probably wouldn’t even respond. 😭😭 They really couldn’t throw an emoji in there or ask “how are you?”

@𝓛𝓮𝓷𝓪 ✨ literally this lol

It’s hard cuz me being autistic I don’t like small talk but when it comes to engaging with someone new who I don’t know if they are autistic or not I start with the small talk and say hi how are you? What are you up to? In a way of hoping to connect with a mutual interest somewhere. I don’t typically do my life story cuz I don’t wanna trauma dump on people cuz my life has a lot of it interwoven so it can never be a light conversation for me personally … and I wouldn’t talk to them as a friend cuz it takes time to become a friend… so I just take my time building something…

Usually I look at their profile to find something we can talk abt

How does anyone respond to a “hi”?!! I intro myself or I compliment or make a comment or ask a question about one of her pics. I always give them something to reply to. Then when the chat gets going I move the chat- ask if she has FB/IG/Snap and move it, if I have intentions to meet I never ever leave it in here

I don't respond to simple/short intro messages. I'm much more inclined to respond if they tell me about themselves or tell me why they think we'd be a good match

@Nestlē✨ I’ve found some do, some don’t. It’s hard to know.. from one word. If you do respond is that because you’ve seen something you like on their profile?

@𝓛𝓮𝓷𝓪 ✨ hi 🤪 Even that’s as bad.. hi, how are you? Good thanks, you? I’m good. 😶

@Lyss yeah I get that. It can be a slowwww process.. how long do you take to build it up? What if they respond just the same.. I’m good you? Not up to much, you? At some point someone has to say something more or ask something more or it doesn’t go anywhere. Have to get more personal, without it being too personal, to know if there’s any potential. It’s tricky isn’t it!

@Victoria~ same.

@Kellie that’s interesting, what would you include in your intro? I also compliment or find something on profile to ask about even if I couldn’t care less.. just to get something more than hi how are you? What if they don’t have social media? Or they do but don’t post?

I don’t care about them posting all I want to do is move the chat off here because notifications are shit on here and the chats I did leave on here they didn’t go anywhere. I get her number if she has no SM at all. I usually chat to locals so I’ll say I’m in this suburb, like only 10mins from her and I’ll ask about something she’s put on her profile whatever that is it’s a different intro for every mum I suppose. If I can relate to something on her profile then I’ll say that

@FairyMother 🦖🌸 agreed but I do respond to hi’s if their profile looks interesting and I’ll ask more about that. It’s hard for some people to put themselves out there but if you’re trying to make friends surely you have to just go for it. What about the suggestions in messages such as.. do you like pineapple on pizza?

i’ll pretty much only respond if they say something more than just hi. if they say “hi/hey, how are you?” i’ll respond with how i’m actually feeling instead of just “good, you?” then when they reply, they talk about how they’re actually feeling & we can usually relate to each other bc we’re all exhausted lol & then we’ll just go from there

@dehilia never had that, how often does that happen? Are you curious at first to know what they want to ask and blank them if it’s odd? What is a boss babe pyramid?

It is a slowww process… and what sucks is sometimes when it goes fast it’s also like wait 👀… you love bombing me and like we just talking as friends for like a day… how can you say you trust me already i don’t know you lol…,it’s such a tricky line… and yeah when they do I’m good and you I’ll add a bit more and try to throw out some thing for them to comment back but if it’s just a constant I just give up… it’s ridiculous lol

I usually ignore the suggested prompts too just because I know they're fake and not something written by the actual person

@Kellie makes sense. How soon do you move the chat? Have you ever taken a number and it was a catfish? Have you met in person with anyone from this app? It’s scary meeting someone from online or giving out info even when the intention is just to make friends as mums and/or for the kids. I think it’s worse than meeting someone online on your own for dating purposes, as your child’s at risk too.

@Nestlē✨ yes exactly. Some people don’t seem to want to know the real answer so why ask. Do you find you have a better experience if your feelings at time are positive or negative?

See that’s why I prefer that she has some SM- I can see her, her family, knows that she exists as she says she does on peanut. And she can see mine. There’s transparency there when swapping SM. No I’ve never taken a number that was catfish. Although if I only have her number I send pics back and forth, and send a selfie on the day of meet and ask for one back so I know what she’s wearing that day, how she’s wearing her hair etc so I can zoom straight to her and know 100% it’s her. Have you seen my last post? I’ve recently met someone a couple days ago. She’s my 15th meet from peanut granted I’ve been on here nearly 3yrs so that’s 15 in 3yrs. Out of that 15 I see and chat to 3-4 regularly like daily, the other 3-4 I see every couple months and 6-7 of them we didn’t vibe so it was just that one meet. Do your due dilegence (swapping SM is part of that due diligence for me) and maybe do a video call or ask for a selfie on the day and you’ll be much less anxious Xx

tbh my feelings are negative most of the time lmao bc like i said i’m exhausted & overwhelmed. but even with my negative feelings or mood it’s a good conversation bc i make it into something to laugh about. like a laugh to keep from crying type of thing 🥲 & i usually get the same type of response. & then when we have something positive to report it just elevates the conversation

If someone asks me how I am, I always tell them something about my day. Like "not great, my kid is vomiting today" 🤣 Literally just say something more interesting than hi.

I don’t really respond to hi as I don’t trust it and it’s usually from an overseas location. If it’s hi what are you doing today it’s different. I usually say hi and introduce myself repeating the bio.

When I initiate a convo I usually give a brief, “dating profile intro” So I say like “hey! I’m Cara, I have 3 feral animals for children , my oldest is 6, and the. 18m old twins. When my life permits it I enjoy relaxing, reading, and drinking wine. We are huge travel junkies” Just something to kinda give a few convo starters